1 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,599 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,679 Why on earth am I spending my lunch break 3 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,679 at the great governor Chung's book launch? 4 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,359 Because it's better than watching Gary drip 5 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,239 that fucking noodle juice down his chin. 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,559 God, I'm gonna snort a line of tzatziki and go. 7 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,359 I am so mired in filibuster reform, I've got no conversation. 8 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,520 - Do you know Chung? - Not really. 9 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,399 - Heh-hey! - Dan, my man. 10 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:36,520 Governor. Good to see you, my friend. 11 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,079 - How are you, sir? - I'm very well. 12 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,200 - Oh, and you must be Amy. - Yes. 13 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,679 So, Dan, how's it working out with the V.P.? 14 00:00:41,759 --> 00:00:44,039 'Cause if you ever wanna step several rungs down the ladder, 15 00:00:44,119 --> 00:00:45,520 I could always use help from a fellow Daniel. 16 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,439 Dan only climbs up ladders. 17 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,600 Yes, but sometimes you have to go down to go up. 18 00:00:52,039 --> 00:00:54,439 I assume the vice president would be too busy. 19 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:55,920 Yes. She sends her apologies. 20 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,399 - She's prepping for "Meet the Press." - Ah. 21 00:00:57,479 --> 00:00:59,320 I'll be on "Face the Nation." 22 00:00:59,399 --> 00:01:01,840 But everyone will be watching her, so I guess I can just wing it. 23 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,960 - Shall I sign a book for her? - No... 'kay. 24 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,719 I'd better be going around myself, 25 00:01:06,799 --> 00:01:09,079 make sure everyone gets to touch the hem of my garment. 26 00:01:09,159 --> 00:01:10,879 - ( all laugh ) - Dan, the man. 27 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:12,719 All right. 28 00:01:12,799 --> 00:01:14,560 "You have to go down to go up." 29 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,959 - What a jerk. - I'm gonna steal that, 30 00:01:17,039 --> 00:01:19,000 because he who speaks in maxims. 31 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,039 Can sound wise. 32 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,120 This is good. This is like cornbread. 33 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,680 - ( Dan sighs ) - Hello, children. 34 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,719 - Hello, senator. - Looking for some fresh backs to stab? 35 00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:32,840 Oh, senator Doyle, it's all part of the game. 36 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,000 Yeah, well, I'll tell you, you wanna play a game, Danny? 37 00:01:35,079 --> 00:01:37,400 Why don't you try working an iPad with your dick? 38 00:01:37,479 --> 00:01:38,878 ( laughs ) 39 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:40,959 No, he's already got carpal tunnel in that area. 40 00:01:41,039 --> 00:01:43,759 You have nothing constructive to say to me, Amy? 41 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,239 Is this about clean jobs? 42 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:47,878 Oh, is that what they call it still with two oil guys on it? 43 00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:51,640 Wow, you're gonna have to buy a lot of spray cans to paint that turd gold. 44 00:01:51,719 --> 00:01:54,680 Everyone has limits to their power, senator, even the vice president. 45 00:01:54,759 --> 00:01:57,920 Yeah, and I have the power to withdraw, 46 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:02,040 which is what I'm gonna do right now. 47 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,319 When he said withdraw, he's... he's not talking about 48 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,200 withdrawing from filibuster reform, though, right? 49 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,400 - No! No! - What do you think he's talking about? 50 00:02:08,478 --> 00:02:11,038 I assumed it was withdraw from the conversation. 51 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,319 Who uses withdraw as a fuckin' verb besides catholics and butlers? 52 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,199 Maybe the Israeli military every once in a while. 53 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,039 Yeah, you think I don't know? You're fucking with me. 54 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,599 No. Come on, let's just head back. 55 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,719 Oh, no, no. No way. I'm staying right here. 56 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,079 You gotta network to get work, baby. All right? Chung for change. 57 00:02:25,159 --> 00:02:27,319 ( applause ) 58 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,759 Thank you. Thank you so much. 59 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,400 We've got jobs. 60 00:02:31,478 --> 00:02:33,079 - Clean jobs. - Clean jobs. 61 00:02:33,159 --> 00:02:35,319 - Filibuster reform. - Yeah, hit that hard. 62 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,240 Right. You know what we need? We need some normal, regular-people stuff. 63 00:02:38,319 --> 00:02:42,000 I got an idea. You could talk about how you always get a sweaty upper lip 64 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:45,120 underneath studio lights. That shows you're normal. 65 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:48,199 I'm really talking about a different kind of normal, Gary. 66 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:49,680 Small talk's gonna happen at the end, right? 67 00:02:49,759 --> 00:02:51,280 - Right. - Gregory's a redskins fan. 68 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:52,960 - He'll probably bring up football. - Football. 69 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,719 And I am a... 70 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,960 Ravens fan, so... 71 00:02:58,039 --> 00:03:00,159 Madam vice president, how are your Ravens doing this year? 72 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,680 My Ravens are gold and I'll tell you why. 73 00:03:02,759 --> 00:03:06,240 Because we have Joe Flacco as our quarterback. 74 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:07,840 - Mike: Yes, yes. - And... 75 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:09,759 Well, the Redskins have a great running game this year 76 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,120 and, honestly, that receiving corps over there, 77 00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:14,520 Anquan Boldin, not looking good for you. 78 00:03:14,599 --> 00:03:17,159 - Anquan? - A receiver on the Ravens. 79 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,120 Okay, well, I'm not gonna remember that. 80 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,599 - That's not good. - It doesn't matter. 81 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,520 You wanna bet a beer that the Ravens will win. 82 00:03:22,599 --> 00:03:25,400 - Beer makes me so gassy. - You can talk about that... 83 00:03:25,478 --> 00:03:27,120 about how it always bloats you, beer. 84 00:03:27,199 --> 00:03:28,840 - Uh-huh! - Uh-huh! 85 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,840 - That's a good one. - How was Chung? 86 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,319 Did he do this thing where you don't know 87 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,199 if you're supposed to hug him or crucify him? 88 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,478 Which, by the way, makes me wanna crucify him. 89 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,960 - I did not stay for his speech. - Let me see this. 90 00:03:38,039 --> 00:03:39,520 - "The Good Fight." - ( Mike snickers ) 91 00:03:39,599 --> 00:03:43,719 - I know. The title... - Puh-lease! Sue? Handle this for me. 92 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,280 Do you want me to shred it? Should I fire up the shit eater? 93 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,120 - Yeah. - No, no. Wait a second. 94 00:03:48,199 --> 00:03:50,159 He scrawled something in the front for you. 95 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:54,400 "To vice president Salina Meyer"... 96 00:03:54,478 --> 00:03:57,918 with an "a"... "from an admiring wannabe." 97 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,039 What an e-hole. 98 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,520 Changed the "a" to an "e." 99 00:04:01,599 --> 00:04:03,400 What a bunch of Washington bullshit that is. 100 00:04:03,479 --> 00:04:06,560 I am so tired of... hey, Gary, I... 101 00:04:06,639 --> 00:04:08,879 I mean, wannabe? 102 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,478 He's obviously making a joke, right? 103 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,439 He doesn't really think that he's some sort 104 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,680 of credible vice presidential candidate. 105 00:04:14,759 --> 00:04:16,959 Mm, charismatic war hero. 106 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,199 ( quietly ) Yeah, but, I mean, the president 107 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,319 always sticks with the incumbent veep. 108 00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:24,360 Plus, he doesn't wanna look like he made a massive error picking you. 109 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,600 Well, that was lovely. 110 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,600 - He's stuck with me... is that what... - I don't mean it like that. 111 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,319 I meant good stuck, like if your marriage lasts or whatever. 112 00:04:32,399 --> 00:04:34,079 ( loudly ) The president's not gonna ditch you. 113 00:04:34,159 --> 00:04:36,959 Would you be quiet? What...? 114 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,120 Amy: Want me to have Scott put together a file on Chung, 115 00:04:39,199 --> 00:04:41,199 - given the noise? - No. No, no, no, no. 116 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,240 Do not let him know that you're worried, do not make it a thing. 117 00:04:43,319 --> 00:04:45,519 - Yeah, Amy, don't make it a thing. - Okay. 118 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,560 Ame? 119 00:04:49,639 --> 00:04:53,879 Although, if those wheels are in motion anyway, 120 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:57,240 then I would say go ahead and, you know, 121 00:04:57,319 --> 00:05:00,199 put a file together, you know. 122 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:01,680 You know what I'm sick of? 123 00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:04,920 That stupid story of Chung supposedly pulling some guy out of a burning tank. 124 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,759 Come on, why do guys in the army get a medal for doing their job? 125 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:13,000 The guy still had severe burns. If anything, Chung was too late. 126 00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,480 Whoa, whoa. Your desk is in the back. 127 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,600 - This is neutral territory. - Yep. So I'm claiming it. 128 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,439 Sue, would you like to tell him about the encroachment rules? 129 00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:21,399 Do I look like a kindergarten teacher to you, Mike? 130 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,040 - Actually, yes. - Excuse me? 131 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,560 Uh, no, you don't. Okay, go ahead. 132 00:05:25,639 --> 00:05:28,639 - I'm gonna use your desk in the back. - As what, a pantry? 133 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:32,120 ( whistling ) Oh, here we go. 134 00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,560 Look who it is, everybody! It's your favorite Jonah. 135 00:05:34,639 --> 00:05:37,199 Amy: You're not even your mom's favorite Jonah, Jonah. 136 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:39,879 Don't be changing the talking points for my "Meet the Press" thing. 137 00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:41,360 Okay? I am prepped. 138 00:05:41,439 --> 00:05:44,279 I come bearing a very minor request from the president. 139 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,279 Does he want to operate me by remote control? 140 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,600 No. That's not technologically possible. 141 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,680 Um, potus would appreciate it 142 00:05:52,759 --> 00:05:54,639 if you didn't go too hard on filibuster reform. 143 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:58,360 What are you talking about? That's my defining vice presidential crusade. 144 00:05:58,439 --> 00:06:00,720 The administration is totally focused on the economy. 145 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,199 - Have a great weekend, okay? - Ma'am. 146 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,879 - Sue: Ma'am, you, too. - Yeah, thank you very much. 147 00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:05,480 - Ma'am. - I need to gather my things. 148 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,079 I'll tell you something else... these need water, okay? Okay. 149 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,120 So, ma'am, potus would like your new chosen subject 150 00:06:11,199 --> 00:06:12,839 to be immigration reform... 151 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,240 Americans losing jobs to illegals, et cetera. 152 00:06:15,319 --> 00:06:18,519 I spoke in favor of immigration amnesty 153 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,000 all during my primary campaign. 154 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:21,959 - Hey, how's it going? - Well, with respect, ma'am, 155 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:25,399 do you think anybody's gonna remember your primary campaign? 156 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:26,920 Ooh. 157 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,360 In spite of your preface, I did not detect 158 00:06:29,439 --> 00:06:32,319 a whole lot of respect in that question. 159 00:06:32,399 --> 00:06:35,159 You know, I meant that more as a slight against 160 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,000 the power of recollection of the electorate 161 00:06:37,079 --> 00:06:39,319 and not as an attack on the potency of your campaign. 162 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,839 Well, why didn't you say that, then? 163 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:44,600 Oh, because you have the social skills of someone who was raised by wolves. 164 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,159 Oh, and pump up China as a trading partner. 165 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,560 We gotta keep nudging that one along. 166 00:06:49,639 --> 00:06:53,360 I gotta get back to the White House. God, I love saying that. 167 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:58,439 Well, God bless the president, you know. I mean, he's really a great man, 168 00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:01,399 but he is busting my fuckin' lady balls here. 169 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,519 And pump up China? 170 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,399 Is that some sort of dig about Chung? 171 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,160 Okay, so I guess we're not going home. 172 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,639 - Yeah. Sue? - Yep. 173 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,839 - We're staying. - Aw. 174 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,319 Whew. 175 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,959 - Did you have a good Saturday night? - It was okay. 176 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,600 My zipper on my Leviathan broke, 177 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,040 so I had to drive around trying to find a replacement. 178 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,720 - What did you do? - Uh. You know what I did? 179 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,199 I went to bed at 7:00 P.M. 180 00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:29,399 - Ooh. - -7:00 P.M. on a Saturday night. 181 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,800 Even people who are dying of malaria stay up later than that. 182 00:07:31,879 --> 00:07:33,680 Well, they can't sleep because they're coughing. 183 00:07:33,759 --> 00:07:35,800 Hi, guys. I'm all set. I'll be there in just a second. 184 00:07:35,879 --> 00:07:37,279 - Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. - All right. 185 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,040 I gotta go, but you know what? 186 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,519 Hang out here as long as you like and I'll call you afterwards, okay? 187 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,279 - Can't I just leave now with you? - No, I don't want them to see you. 188 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:45,759 All these extra rules... it's kind of weird. 189 00:07:45,839 --> 00:07:47,399 I know, but I am the vice president. 190 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,159 Oh, yes, you are. 191 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:53,079 Hearing you say that gives me a massive hard-on. 192 00:07:53,159 --> 00:07:55,639 Oh. I am the vice president. 193 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,959 Oh, baby, I'm ready to launch. 194 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,199 And I'm ready to eat you up. 195 00:08:02,279 --> 00:08:04,839 Oh, second breakfast. I didn't know you had it in you. 196 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,600 Oh, God. Oh, I want it in me. 197 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,160 - All right. - Bye. 198 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,800 Yeah. I'm gonna watch your ass move. 199 00:08:10,879 --> 00:08:12,279 - ( chuckles ) - Yeah. 200 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,120 - Selina: Hi, you guys. - Hey. 201 00:08:14,199 --> 00:08:16,480 - You look pretty. - Oh, thank you. 202 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,439 - How are you guys? - Great. 203 00:08:18,519 --> 00:08:21,000 - All set? You got everything? - Oh, yes. 204 00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:23,639 - Selina: I just have to get my stuff. - How was your Saturday night? 205 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,360 Um, it was fine. 206 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:26,800 - Here, I'll get that. - Thank you. 207 00:08:29,519 --> 00:08:32,000 - Mike! - Oh, hey. 208 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,558 Just visualizing you kicking ass on "Meet the Press." 209 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:37,039 Why are you so tired? You don't do anything. 210 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:40,480 ( sirens blaring ) 211 00:08:40,558 --> 00:08:44,080 Here's the research Scott pulled on Chung. 212 00:08:44,159 --> 00:08:45,919 Check out page one. 213 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,960 He was born back in China before his dad got his citizenship, 214 00:08:49,039 --> 00:08:51,559 so he can't be president or vice president. 215 00:08:51,639 --> 00:08:53,360 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 216 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:54,879 Well, that's good news. 217 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,759 - More good news for "Meet the Press." - Oh, yeah? 218 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,480 David Gregory is ill. - ( gasps ) 219 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,759 - Sam Finnegan is the fill-in. - Ho ho, a virgin. 220 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:05,840 Oh, God, I'm gonna eat him up. 221 00:09:05,919 --> 00:09:07,399 - ( sighs ) - Selina: What? 222 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,559 - Well, that changes the sports stuff. - Mike: No panic. 223 00:09:10,639 --> 00:09:13,519 We'll just change the redskins to whatever Finnegan's team is. 224 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,759 - What is Finnegan's team? - I'm pretty sure he's a Bears fan. 225 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,759 - Pretty sure? - Mike, you're pretty sure? 226 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,279 Exactly. That doesn't help. 227 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,039 It doesn't matter because you're gonna talk about the Ravens. 228 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,519 I know that I'm a Ravens fan, 229 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,399 but, like, what if Finnegan is a Ravens fan, too, you know? 230 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,600 - A team can't play itself, can it? - You can in video games. 231 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,200 Some people say your immigration policy 232 00:09:33,279 --> 00:09:36,399 is at odds with your jobs program. How would you respond to that? 233 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,320 Well, I would respond like this... 234 00:09:38,399 --> 00:09:42,039 I would say that the economy has changed a great deal 235 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:46,080 since I made those statements and the president and I agree 236 00:09:46,159 --> 00:09:48,960 that Americans have to come first. 237 00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:51,080 That's my girl. Olympic-style backflip. 238 00:09:51,159 --> 00:09:53,039 And I believe very strongly... 239 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,000 - That's sweat. That's lip sweat. - That's shimmer. 240 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:59,639 You haven't spoken much today about the Senate filibuster reform. 241 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,919 Well, I'll say this... in order to reform, 242 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,840 you have to perform. 243 00:10:04,919 --> 00:10:06,639 She got the filibuster in! 244 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,240 Just waiting for Jonah. Here he is. 245 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,720 - ( phone buzzing ) - Oh, yeah? 246 00:10:09,799 --> 00:10:11,879 Hello, penis enlargement clinic. 247 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,879 Mike, who is incompetent, you or her? 248 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,080 Because she just talked about filibuster reform. 249 00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:17,559 He asked her. 250 00:10:17,639 --> 00:10:21,039 My message is simple, my message is this... Yes. 251 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,200 - Thank you, madam vice president. - Absolutely. 252 00:10:23,279 --> 00:10:25,039 Sam, I just have to ask you... you're a Bears fan. 253 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,519 - Is that right? - Guilty. 254 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,360 - She do the sports yet? - She's doing it now. 255 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,240 We're not nervous at all. With Flacco... forget about it. 256 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,639 I'll bet you a beer that we win by a T.D. 257 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,120 What about Ray Rice? Hell of a lead runner. 258 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,159 ( laughing ) Ray Rice, Ray Rice, Ray... 259 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,639 Well, he, uh... Ray Rice, he play nice. 260 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,240 Ooh. 261 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:45,720 - Vice president. - Thank you so much. 262 00:10:45,799 --> 00:10:47,320 We'll be back next week, 263 00:10:47,399 --> 00:10:50,159 because if it's Sunday, it's "Meet the Press." 264 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,039 ( music playing ) 265 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,039 Will you be watching Danny Chung on "Face the Nation"? 266 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,360 Uh, you know, I would, 267 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,440 but I've got a game of solitaire going on, 268 00:10:58,519 --> 00:10:59,919 so I think I'll give that a skip. 269 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,120 Long-term beltway money's on him 270 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,120 - as presidential material. - Oh, really? 271 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,919 Well, I'd be surprised because technically he's not an American. 272 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,799 I mean, because he wasn't, um, born here, 273 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,799 you know, not because he's half Chine... 274 00:11:13,879 --> 00:11:16,080 ( stammering ) 275 00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:17,559 - You know, 'cause his parents... - Well, I've gotta go. 276 00:11:17,639 --> 00:11:19,039 - Okay. - But it was a pleasure talking to you. 277 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,120 Thank you so much. Did you get it? 278 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,879 - I got it. - Oh... 279 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,440 Um... Listen, they wouldn't have recorded that, right? 280 00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:29,399 I had the mic on, but I don't think it was hot. 281 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,919 - Do you think that it was on? - I hope to God they didn't. 282 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:35,000 I didn't say he was bad because he's part Chinese. 283 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:36,519 - No, no. - It's not bad to be Chinese. 284 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:38,200 Can you go speak to the sound guy? 285 00:11:38,279 --> 00:11:40,120 I can't do it because it'll make it look like a thing. 286 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,639 I don't wanna make it look like a thing, 287 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,639 - so maybe I can... - I'll do it. 288 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,759 No, no, no. Gary, Gary, Gary. 289 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,240 - Gary, come. - I'll do it. 290 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,159 I think actually he should go talk to the sound guy. 291 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,639 - Yeah. - Okay. 292 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,120 Do you have any ideas on what I should say? 293 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,159 You offered to do this. What was your plan? 294 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,919 My plan was to go over there and get some ideas on what to say. 295 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,960 Gary, Gary, just give it a light touch. 296 00:11:59,039 --> 00:12:00,679 - No import to it. - Okay. 297 00:12:00,759 --> 00:12:03,120 - What does that mean? - Just talk to him 298 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,519 like working guy to working guy. 299 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,840 - It's casual. - Got it. Mano a mano. 300 00:12:08,919 --> 00:12:10,679 - Amy: Okay. - Oh, Jesus Christ. 301 00:12:10,759 --> 00:12:14,360 Even in Spanish, you know, it doesn't sound like it's gonna work. 302 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,799 It totally might have just been me, 303 00:12:16,879 --> 00:12:20,000 but kind of... didn't it sound a little glitchy 304 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,159 in the end or anything like that? 305 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,279 - You saying I can't do my job? - No. Oh, God, no. 306 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,759 It's bad? 307 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,399 Well, he just went from a smiley guy to a frowny guy. 308 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,360 I just need to know if everything's okay, you know. 309 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,840 Working guy to working guy, you know. 310 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,799 - Listen, working girl. - Okay. 311 00:12:36,879 --> 00:12:39,159 Yeah. I didn't hear any glitches. 312 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:43,120 All I heard was the sound of a fuckup, okay? 313 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,639 - Sending Gary over there was crazy. - Yeah. 314 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,919 - He was completely out of his element. - Yeah. 315 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,440 I agree. I agree. 316 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,440 Hey, we're getting some press interest in this already. 317 00:12:52,519 --> 00:12:54,360 - Oh, God. - Where? Where? 318 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,000 It's still non-narrative. No momentum yet. 319 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,519 Ma'am, I thought you might want me in the office, given the circumstances. 320 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,039 How do you know about the circumstances? 321 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,200 Well, I'm Sue. It's my job to know everything, Amy. 322 00:13:02,279 --> 00:13:05,039 - It's definitely out there out there? - No, no, it's not out there out there. 323 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,080 I heard about it, Dan, so it sort of is out there out there. 324 00:13:07,159 --> 00:13:08,559 That's why I'm in here in here, Dan. 325 00:13:08,639 --> 00:13:10,519 - Jonah's coming. Jonah's coming. - Oh, fuck! 326 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,000 - Shh! - All right, what do I do? 327 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,720 What if he doesn't know that it's not definitely out there out there? 328 00:13:13,799 --> 00:13:15,519 - Should I tell him that? - You don't wanna give a loaded gun 329 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,200 to that walking silo. Don't make it a thing until it's a thing. 330 00:13:18,279 --> 00:13:20,559 - Do you have any... - ( knocking ) Bad news, everyone. 331 00:13:20,639 --> 00:13:23,159 - This hasn't hit the media yet... - It was out of context. 332 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,080 But a crane has collapsed onto a ship at Portsmouth, Virginia. 333 00:13:26,159 --> 00:13:29,120 Oh, thank... God, how horrible. 334 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,639 Wait, what was out of context? 335 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,080 Um, we thought you were gonna give me shit about filibuster reform. 336 00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:37,080 Oh, well, the White House is very much under the moon 337 00:13:37,159 --> 00:13:38,679 about that, but let's reboot. 338 00:13:38,759 --> 00:13:40,720 The president is stuck in economic talks. 339 00:13:40,799 --> 00:13:43,240 - We need a V.P.V.P. - A what? 340 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,519 - A vice presidential visual presence. - You can't make up acronyms, Jonah. 341 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,120 - Somebody has to, Mike. - No, they don't. 342 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,080 Uh, okay, well, then, we should head on down there. 343 00:13:50,159 --> 00:13:52,039 - Let's get the ball rolling. - Thank you. Thank you. 344 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,919 Yeah, we've got it handled. 345 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:58,200 Oh, Jonah, that's a good look for you. What do you call that? Bi-casual? 346 00:13:58,279 --> 00:14:00,120 Thanks, Mike, but it's Sunday. 347 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,279 I work hard, I work fast, and I get hot legs. 348 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,159 I say let the whale hang loose. Who am I offending? 349 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,080 - Show of hands. - Right here. 350 00:14:07,159 --> 00:14:11,399 O-kay, well, I think that worked out pretty good. 351 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:15,279 Just confirmed... Two fatalities, 24 injured so far. 352 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,399 I didn't mean it like that. 353 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,240 Dan, we're going to a hospital. 354 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,840 Do you have a suit you can change into? 355 00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:23,039 - I have five. - Okay. 356 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,000 Do you have something that can fit the McClintock shape 357 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,480 - that's not a Santa suit? - I got something. 358 00:14:29,559 --> 00:14:33,759 We're going to a hospital. We're not going trick or treating. 359 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,000 ( sirens blaring ) 360 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:40,759 Hi, Ashley. Mike McClintock, 361 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,320 - vice president's office. - Oh, hi. 362 00:14:42,399 --> 00:14:45,360 Madam vice president... This is Ashley, the hospital administrator. 363 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,639 Thank you so much for coming. It really means a lot. 364 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,120 - Thank you. - Well, let me tell you something... 365 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,919 being here for the American people is one of the privileges of this job. 366 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,440 It's a sad privilege, of course... But it's a privilege nonetheless. 367 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:58,279 Ma'am, I don't know if all these people are bereaving, 368 00:14:58,360 --> 00:14:59,840 - so just converse generally, okay? - Right. 369 00:14:59,919 --> 00:15:02,000 Converse generally? What about? The weather? 370 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:05,519 Not about the weather. It is unseasonably warm, though, okay? 371 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,200 So, madam vice president, if you'll just come with me, 372 00:15:08,279 --> 00:15:09,919 I'll show you to some of our families. 373 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,480 Oh, well, however I can be of service. 374 00:15:11,559 --> 00:15:14,320 How do you do, sir? Oh, my goodness, you got so hurt. 375 00:15:14,399 --> 00:15:16,320 - Well, it's a great hospital, isn't it? - Yes, ma'am. 376 00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:17,960 Oh, dear, look at your neck. 377 00:15:18,039 --> 00:15:20,600 Hi, sir. Don't turn your head. 378 00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:22,080 I'll give you a little squeeze on your hand. 379 00:15:22,159 --> 00:15:24,799 - Well, you seem just fine. - I'm not really. 380 00:15:24,879 --> 00:15:27,240 - Internal. - Internal. Hmm. 381 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,440 Ashley: This is a family... they're waiting to hear about their son. 382 00:15:30,519 --> 00:15:32,039 - Oh. - Mike: Hold on. No, no, not yet. 383 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,879 This is a private moment. This is not a photo op. 384 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,960 - It's amazing how the world changes. - Mm. 385 00:15:37,039 --> 00:15:40,320 One minute, you're enjoying this amazing sunshine... 386 00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:43,480 Well, it's unseasonably warm. 387 00:15:43,559 --> 00:15:46,639 And the next, your whole world's gone to pieces. 388 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,759 - Oh, gosh. - This is his surgeon. 389 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,720 - How do you do, sir? - Dr. Graber. 390 00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:52,440 Any news, doctor, about our son? 391 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,600 - ( all gasp ) Sam's going to make it. 392 00:15:54,679 --> 00:15:57,919 Okay, guys, I got a little sound bite for y'all to nibble on right here. 393 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,039 - Oh, that is just fantastic. - Mike: Very good. 394 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,200 - Doctor, we appreciate your hard work. - Mike: Good news. 395 00:16:03,279 --> 00:16:05,559 I just wanna say how grateful we are 396 00:16:05,639 --> 00:16:09,679 to all of our most capable doctors and nurses. 397 00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:11,480 So grateful. 398 00:16:11,559 --> 00:16:13,240 And I'd also like to say 399 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,120 if, for some reason, we find out 400 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,480 that there was negligence that caused this accident, 401 00:16:18,559 --> 00:16:21,519 those who are responsible 402 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:25,120 are gonna have the White House to answer to. 403 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,600 - Yeah! - That's right. 404 00:16:26,679 --> 00:16:28,360 Woman: Thank you for being here, madam vice president. 405 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,279 - You are a good woman. - Crowd: Yeah! 406 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,080 And you're not afraid to say what's on your mind. 407 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,559 - Oh. - Reporter: Danny Chung... 408 00:16:34,639 --> 00:16:38,200 I... I always try to speak as honestly as I can. 409 00:16:38,279 --> 00:16:39,799 Woman: I heard what you said about those people. 410 00:16:39,879 --> 00:16:42,799 - You'd get my vote. - ( crowd cheers ) 411 00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:47,159 'Cause technically he's not an American. I mean... 412 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,759 They're taking over our ports. It's like they've invaded us. 413 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:52,120 Yeah, and now they think they can be president? No way! 414 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,919 Come on, this is the White House, not the Yellow House. 415 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,799 - Come on, Selina! - ( cheering ) 416 00:16:56,879 --> 00:17:03,639 ( crowd chanting ) U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 417 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,400 You have to get Chung on the phone right away, Amy. 418 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,720 - Shut this thing down, Amy. - Yeah, dialing now. 419 00:17:08,799 --> 00:17:10,400 - Here, he's picking up. - What? I... 420 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,240 Oh. Hello. Hi. Yes, I have the vice president for you. 421 00:17:15,279 --> 00:17:18,160 Governor? Hi. How are you? 422 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:22,000 I don't... I don't know if you saw the footage today 423 00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:24,799 from "Meet the Press," 424 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,599 but, you know, that is not what I meant 425 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,279 and it certainly isn't what I think. 426 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,119 - Gary, the belt can wait. - Let's just put it this way... 427 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,079 what I was trying to say was... Jesus Christ! 428 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,680 - Oh, my God! Oh! - Oh, God. 429 00:17:38,759 --> 00:17:41,960 Gary, that was my fucking flesh that you just... 430 00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:43,559 - Hello? - ...trapped in there. 431 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,279 - Voice mail. Keep trying. - Gary: I'm so sorry. 432 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,079 - All right, that's enough. - Okay. 433 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,880 All I am saying is that if senator Doyle pulls that meeting, 434 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:55,480 there is not gonna be a lot of availability for a while. 435 00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:58,440 Jennifer, quite frankly, I had more windows in my first apartment 436 00:17:58,519 --> 00:18:00,519 than the V.P. currently has in her schedule. 437 00:18:00,599 --> 00:18:02,279 - What's going on? - Selina: Well, you know what? 438 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:04,000 If governor Chung doesn't call back, 439 00:18:04,079 --> 00:18:06,440 I can just take him down for disrespecting the office. 440 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,920 - How about that? - Yes. 441 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,960 We just lost the numbers on filibuster reform. 442 00:18:10,039 --> 00:18:11,759 - What did you just say? - Yeah, yeah. 443 00:18:11,839 --> 00:18:14,599 Senator Doyle has just withdrawn his support. 444 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,240 Something Amy said at Chung's book launch. 445 00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:18,720 He was still upset about clean jobs, 446 00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:21,400 which is on you, Dan, because you put Sidney Purcell on the task force. 447 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,039 Oh, sure! You know what? I blame George Washington. 448 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,079 If he hadn't started this whole form of government, then we wouldn't... 449 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:30,119 Okay, okay, stop squabbling! What am I supposed to do now? 450 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:34,920 Tell me that. I'm supposed to call Doyle and beg him to come back? 451 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,680 I'm the vice president of the United States, you stupid little fuckers! 452 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,000 These people should be begging me! 453 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,720 That door should be half its height 454 00:18:42,799 --> 00:18:44,599 so that people can only approach me in my office 455 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,160 on their goddamn, motherfucking knees. 456 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,000 I can't lose Doyle. 457 00:18:48,079 --> 00:18:49,799 Who else has a bucketful of senators? 458 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,079 Cut Doyle loose, all right? Call his bluff. We reach across the aisle 459 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,720 - to the immigration reform caucus. - What? 460 00:18:55,799 --> 00:18:57,519 You want to break out the white, pointy hoods, too, ma'am? 461 00:18:57,599 --> 00:18:59,440 Look, we throw them a few commitments to their cause 462 00:18:59,519 --> 00:19:01,640 in exchange for support on filibuster reform. 463 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,119 - This is easy. - Ugh. Once you go down 464 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,960 that dark country road, the lights go out and the scarecrows come to life. 465 00:19:06,039 --> 00:19:07,519 Yeah, anyone hear the banjo music? 466 00:19:07,599 --> 00:19:09,640 Look, Mike, that's what you always hear because mentally 467 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,200 you're in a fuckin' hammock on a back porch. 468 00:19:11,279 --> 00:19:12,680 Dan, this isn't fantasy politics. 469 00:19:12,759 --> 00:19:14,240 Stop it! Stop it! 470 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,319 This is a win for you on Senate reform 471 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,079 and it's also another big win for you with the president on immigration, 472 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,599 all right? Win big, win big. 473 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,400 I don't know... maybe you and Dan should go down and talk to... 474 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,640 J... God damn it... the senator from Arizona. 475 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,079 The one who wants to random search people in ponchos? 476 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,720 - Selina: Oh, Bill. - O'Brien. 477 00:19:31,799 --> 00:19:35,079 Yeah. He's got a lot of sway with the pro-Caucasian caucus. 478 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,920 All right, so we get O'Brien, who brings us McCaulay and Cunliffe. 479 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,480 Is McCaulay the one with the nose hair problem 480 00:19:40,559 --> 00:19:42,000 like he's got two raccoons in his nostrils? 481 00:19:42,079 --> 00:19:43,640 That's seven to Doyle's five. 482 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,559 I mean, this is a filibuster slam dunk. 483 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,519 - Chung is on TV live. - What?! 484 00:19:47,599 --> 00:19:49,000 - Get it on. Get it on. - Where's the remote? 485 00:19:49,079 --> 00:19:50,680 It's in the bowl. The remote's in the bowl. 486 00:19:50,759 --> 00:19:52,559 - ( all shouting ) - Sue, where's the clicker? 487 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,720 - Where's the clicker? - Guys, it's in the credenza. 488 00:19:55,799 --> 00:19:57,799 - Get it. Quick, quick, quick. - What channel? Channel? 489 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,480 - Any live TV. - Mike... no, Mike. 490 00:19:59,559 --> 00:20:01,880 Don't touch that remote. You're gonna launch a nuke or something. 491 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,759 - Sue? - A few brief words about the comments 492 00:20:03,839 --> 00:20:05,640 that were made earlier today. 493 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,440 Despite what is said in some dark corners of the Internet, 494 00:20:09,519 --> 00:20:11,200 when I was born, both my parents 495 00:20:11,279 --> 00:20:14,119 were fully naturalized American citizens. 496 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,200 What? He's Captain fuckin' America? 497 00:20:16,279 --> 00:20:18,839 - What's happening here? Good job, Amy. - It's not... 498 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,799 That is not the information I was given by Scott. 499 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,480 A quiet word with one of her staff 500 00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:25,920 regarding the thoroughness of their research techniques. 501 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,839 Dan: What did Scott use as a research tool, the fuckin' drudge report? 502 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,319 Second-generation Chinese American... 503 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,000 Mike: That and bathroom walls. 504 00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:33,519 Proud enough to risk my life for this country. 505 00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:37,200 I've got a purple heart on my chest, but the one that beats inside of me 506 00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,079 is red, white, and blue. 507 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,279 - No, he didn't. He didn't say that. - He is seizing his moment. 508 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,519 And that's why this is the greatest country on earth. 509 00:20:44,599 --> 00:20:48,039 I am gonna throw up a leg. 510 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,839 And then I'm gonna take that leg and I'm gonna beat Scott to death with it. 511 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,839 - Scott! - Ah! 512 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,319 I'm gonna go draft a letter of apology 513 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,599 to the king of Minnesota, governor Chung. 514 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:01,319 Selina: Here's what we're gonna do... Mike, big fat apology to Chung; 515 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,839 Amy, fuck Doyle. I want this bill. 516 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,559 You guys talk to O'Brien and get that border caucus. 517 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,880 - Okay. - Amy, put on your dancing shoes 518 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,640 and head for the border right now. 519 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,400 - Go on. - No, I'm not doing it. 520 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,279 Get a move on. 521 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,160 ( sighs ) 522 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,799 This is them. 523 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,519 Here we go. 524 00:21:22,599 --> 00:21:24,039 Hi, senator O'Brien. I'm Dan Egan. 525 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:25,640 We spoke on the phone. A pleasure to meet you, sir. 526 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,599 Well, I have no idea who you are, 527 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,279 so I don't know whether it's a pleasure or not. 528 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,440 - Okay. - This is Jack. 529 00:21:33,519 --> 00:21:35,279 - Hi, Jack. - Hi. 530 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:36,759 Amy Brookheimer, vice president's chief of staff. 531 00:21:36,839 --> 00:21:39,359 Chief? Shouldn't that be chiefess? 532 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,279 ( laughs ) Relax, missy. 533 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:44,000 - I'm just yanking your chain. - Amy: Absolutely. 534 00:21:44,079 --> 00:21:46,599 - ( men grunt ) - This place looks nice, huh? 535 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,200 Looks like they do a mighty fine plate of ribs, 536 00:21:49,279 --> 00:21:51,319 but before we do any ordering, 537 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:55,319 I'd like to know if you're going to offend us with some chickenshit deal 538 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,720 that means we have to leave before the food comes. 539 00:21:58,799 --> 00:22:01,039 You're fine to order. 540 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:02,920 I feel so horrible. 541 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,839 You know, it's like I've ordered a hit on somebody. 542 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,960 I'm just waiting for the call to say that it's done. 543 00:22:09,039 --> 00:22:11,319 It's done. 544 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,440 Do you want a glass of wine? Some water? You want some hand sanitiz... 545 00:22:15,519 --> 00:22:16,960 - I want quiet. - Quiet? 546 00:22:17,039 --> 00:22:19,119 So long, Scott. You are professionally dead. 547 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,079 Have a nice evening. 548 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,839 Up here on the eastern seaboard, 549 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,759 it's easy to forget what a big slice of our country rubs shoulders 550 00:22:27,839 --> 00:22:32,759 with a failed state by the name of Mexico. 551 00:22:32,839 --> 00:22:36,759 Now, if you had bad neighbors who came into your yard every night 552 00:22:36,839 --> 00:22:42,240 to crap a buttful of drugs and beans on your flowers, 553 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:43,720 you might think about building a fence. 554 00:22:43,799 --> 00:22:46,559 You're not gonna get a border fence, all right? 555 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,720 You're talking about a 3,000-mile-long fence. 556 00:22:48,799 --> 00:22:50,200 Great for the construction industry. 557 00:22:50,279 --> 00:22:52,400 Yeah, but ironically, the only affordable option 558 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,079 would be immigrant labor. 559 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,680 Well, my constituents are fed up 560 00:22:56,759 --> 00:22:58,960 with feeling outnumbered in their own country. 561 00:22:59,039 --> 00:23:01,680 Fellas, we shouldn't have a problem 562 00:23:01,759 --> 00:23:05,799 working to preserve a certain kind of American identity. 563 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,440 Yes. 564 00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:09,240 Now you keep talking like that, sweetheart, 565 00:23:09,319 --> 00:23:11,839 and we'll be having cigars at the end of this dinner. 566 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,200 - Just not Cuban ones. - ( laughing ) 567 00:23:15,279 --> 00:23:18,400 Hey. Oh, my God, 568 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,359 - I am having the shittiest day. - Yeah? 569 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:23,079 You got anything to make me feel better? 570 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,559 I do indeed. 571 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,359 - What is it? - Well... 572 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,920 It's about seven inches, hangs between my legs... 573 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,599 ( laughing ) The thing. 574 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,599 I like to call him sergeant Ted. 575 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:40,799 Okay, well, you tell sergeant Ted I would like him very much 576 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,240 to drill me in my oval office. 577 00:23:44,319 --> 00:23:48,599 In fact, I need him to put the finger on the button 578 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,599 and come into my rose garden. 579 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,079 The sergeant is standing at attention. 580 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:58,039 You know what... I'm coming over there, like, right away. 581 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,920 Uh, you know, when you come over, can you try and sneak in incognito? 582 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,920 I got Korean neighbors and I don't think they'd like the idea of me dating you. 583 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,680 Is that some kind of a joke or something? 584 00:24:06,759 --> 00:24:08,640 It's not funny at all. Fuck off, Ted. 585 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,119 I mean, I don't know why you would s... 586 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,640 ( clears throat ) 587 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,160 ( sighs ) 588 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,960 - You were... you were on the phone? - Mm-hmm. 589 00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:19,640 - Oh, I didn't hear anything. - You better not have heard anything. 590 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,559 I didn't say anything. 591 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,640 Oh, my God. 592 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,079 Oh, for fuck sakes. Hey, Jonah. 593 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,640 What happened to your hot pants? 594 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,640 Oh, the hot pants picked up some negative traction. 595 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,880 I realize now they're unbecoming of my office. 596 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,160 I'm just coming in to see if the misunderstanding 597 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,640 with governor Chung has been resolved. 598 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,119 Yeah. It's all fine and dandy and fabulous. 599 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,039 Excellent. Well, then, I'm gonna go enjoy what's left of my Sunday. 600 00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:45,440 I got the latest Grisham on the go and it's just awesome. You should read... 601 00:24:45,519 --> 00:24:47,079 As well as the funding request, 602 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,839 we can offer a commitment that the vice president will oppose immunity 603 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,839 for any illegal immigrants who have been here for more than five years. 604 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,599 Well, now you're singing a tune that we may dance to. 605 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,880 - Well, we just... - And she will lobby the president 606 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,880 and express public support for your position. 607 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,400 All right, I'm going home. 608 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,200 I'm getting fucked every which way. 609 00:25:08,279 --> 00:25:10,680 - Sue, did the president call? - No. 610 00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:14,640 If you can deliver that, I will appear to love filibuster reform 611 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,759 as much as I appear to love my idiot son. 612 00:25:17,839 --> 00:25:22,400 And for my wife's sake, I appear to love that wretched shitnit a lot. 613 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,440 ( laughing ) 614 00:25:24,519 --> 00:25:26,000 Good night. Let's go, Jack. 615 00:25:26,079 --> 00:25:29,119 Good to see you guys could learn a new word today... compromise. 616 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,640 What do you say? Meet me halfway? 617 00:25:34,279 --> 00:25:37,319 ( laughing ) 618 00:25:38,519 --> 00:25:39,920 Whew. 619 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,000 I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight. That was fuckin' dark. 620 00:25:43,079 --> 00:25:44,920 You've gone up 10 levels in my estimation, by the way. 621 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,440 Which means I've gone down 100 in my own. 622 00:25:46,519 --> 00:25:49,440 Sometimes you've gotta go down to go up. 623 00:25:49,519 --> 00:25:52,519 Eh... I am taking the credit for this. 624 00:25:52,599 --> 00:25:54,079 I tunneled through the shit, I get the dirty glory. 625 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,400 It is me who tells Selina the good news. 626 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:01,799 Where is the vice president? 627 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:05,039 - She has gone home for the evening. - Why? 628 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:08,680 Something about "getting fucked every which way." Direct quote. 629 00:26:08,759 --> 00:26:10,480 Oh, God, yeah. I heard something on the phone. 630 00:26:10,559 --> 00:26:12,319 Oh, God. Oh, God. 631 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,240 How many times can she be underneath that? 632 00:26:15,319 --> 00:26:18,000 She's got such a little body and he seemed like a big man. 633 00:26:18,079 --> 00:26:19,480 Who? Who's he? 634 00:26:19,559 --> 00:26:22,079 Hey, hey, somebody talk about something else? Anything. 635 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,559 Yeah, I gotta get these images out of my head. 636 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,920 Can we talk about... I don't know... our favorite band or something, please? 637 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,880 Yes. Who else are you into, Mike, apart from the Eagles? 638 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,480 Uh, Grateful Dead. 639 00:26:30,559 --> 00:26:32,720 Oh, that's the name of your favorite whorehouse, too, right? 640 00:26:32,799 --> 00:26:34,759 Ugh, can't wait to get home and burn my clothes. 641 00:26:34,839 --> 00:26:37,559 Don't fuck up that suit, Mike. 642 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,519 - All right, good night, Sue. - Good night, Gary. 643 00:26:39,599 --> 00:26:41,480 Good night, Dan. 644 00:26:41,559 --> 00:26:43,160 Jesus Christ. 645 00:26:45,559 --> 00:26:47,839 Dan, you have about 10 seconds to stop distracting me, 646 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,319 or the next thing that they'll find 647 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:52,039 at the back of that couch are your remains. 648 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,240 If you like, I can go sit in the vice president's office. 649 00:26:54,319 --> 00:26:55,960 Sue: Excuse me?