1 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,960 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,079 Selina: Thank you so much for setting this interview up, Dan. 3 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,920 - Really appreciate it. It's perfect. - My pleasure. 4 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,600 Look, this is a walk in the park. 5 00:00:25,679 --> 00:00:28,760 This is a nice casual conversation between two friends. Today, 6 00:00:28,839 --> 00:00:31,079 - America is a guest in your home. - Welcome, America. 7 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,840 The thing to keep in mind is Janet needs this more than you do. 8 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,840 That is so true. I mean, she's kind of a lightweight now. 9 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,520 - We're doing her a favor. - She's a dud. 10 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,000 You know what? We got to prep. Prep time, let's go. 11 00:00:42,079 --> 00:00:44,240 Amy: The song that offended half of Europe? 12 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,799 It didn't offend half of Europe. 13 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,320 Okay, fine. Well, I have to tell you, Janet, 14 00:00:48,399 --> 00:00:50,119 that was a lighthearted parody. 15 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,880 On the campaign trail, you and Andrew were all smiles, 16 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,200 but behind the scenes you were fighting like snakes in a bag. 17 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,399 You're a fraud and a liar, ma'am. 18 00:00:56,479 --> 00:00:58,960 - Wow. What? What are you doing? - I'm hitting you. 19 00:00:59,039 --> 00:01:01,359 Guys, we're prepping for a puff piece, not for a roast. 20 00:01:01,439 --> 00:01:02,880 Right. What is she wearing, by the way? 21 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,519 She's wearing a navy jacket. 22 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,519 It's conservative and desperate at the same time. 23 00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:09,200 What? Look at what I'm wearing. 24 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,680 Do we know what she's wearing yet? Can we find out? 25 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,359 We are gonna go in there in just a moment. 26 00:01:13,439 --> 00:01:15,280 - They're expecting a puff piece. - Right. 27 00:01:15,359 --> 00:01:17,280 There's the bluff puff which we're gonna start out with. 28 00:01:17,359 --> 00:01:19,039 You're her friend. You went to high school together. 29 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,039 You guys like each other. Then we switch right over to rough puff. 30 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,879 Nobody does rough puff like you. 31 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:24,799 - ( growls ) - Rrr. Give me that rough puff. 32 00:01:24,879 --> 00:01:26,439 - All right, Puff Daddy. - Ooh. 33 00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:28,039 What is this one doing? 34 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,959 He is moving a legless horse. 35 00:01:31,039 --> 00:01:32,759 - Oh, Catherine. - Miss Ryland. 36 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,560 It is such an honor to meet you. 37 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,560 It's a pleasure to meet you. 38 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,359 - I'm such a fan of yours. - Thank you. 39 00:01:38,439 --> 00:01:40,519 I actually am hoping to study broadcast journalism. 40 00:01:40,598 --> 00:01:43,719 Right now I'm studying film studies and postmodern dance. 41 00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:46,239 How wonderful. We'll have to talk about that 42 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,560 - when the cameras are rolling. - I would love that. 43 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,039 I'm taking this really cool class 44 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,120 where we sort of debate current issues through movement. 45 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,598 - Let's get you miked up. - Oh. 46 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,120 Oh, my God. This is a problem. 47 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,799 - Look at this. - For the poof, you mean? 48 00:01:56,878 --> 00:01:58,359 Put your hands in your pockets. 49 00:01:58,439 --> 00:02:00,519 Looks like I'm masturbating if I got my hands in my pockets. 50 00:02:00,599 --> 00:02:02,920 Put the blanket over it, or is that too FDR? 51 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,400 Can you guys please kneel down? 52 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,200 'Cause I feel like I fell into a well or something 53 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,680 and it's hurting my neck. 54 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,680 Okay, they're gonna bring up the rafting trip. 55 00:02:09,759 --> 00:02:11,680 Well, I took my ex down to the river 56 00:02:11,759 --> 00:02:15,400 and I tried to smash his head in with a rock and then drown-- 57 00:02:15,478 --> 00:02:17,159 - This is Cody Marshall. - Cody Marshall. 58 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,800 - The producer for "First Response." - Hi, Cody Marshall. 59 00:02:18,879 --> 00:02:20,800 I'm sorry, am I interrupting a team prayer meeting? 60 00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,000 ( laughs ) We're just doing a height thing. 61 00:02:23,079 --> 00:02:24,680 - It was nothing. - Okay. Good luck, everyone. 62 00:02:24,759 --> 00:02:26,840 Thank you so much. Very kind. Thank you. 63 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:28,879 Thanks for being here. We really appreciate it. 64 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,599 Okay, she's wearing a bluish dress 65 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,360 like she vomited flowers all over herself. 66 00:02:33,439 --> 00:02:35,439 - She's kind of a frumpy librarian. - Okay. All right. 67 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,199 - Yes! All right, we're in business. - What? 68 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:38,759 Just confirmed-- a leaked e-mail. 69 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,639 Her ex-husband promising access for business favors. 70 00:02:41,719 --> 00:02:43,918 - He actually brags about it. - I know. 71 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,639 - It's almost too painful. - Brags about access. 72 00:02:46,719 --> 00:02:48,159 Just drag her in with the kindness, 73 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,960 then turn Great White and start taking chunks out of her. 74 00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,439 ( growls ) She's not much of a meal. 75 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,360 - Oh, is it Greg? - Gary. 76 00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:55,120 Gary, we're all set up, so if you can... 77 00:02:55,199 --> 00:02:57,360 Yeah, great. Yeah. 78 00:02:57,439 --> 00:03:00,039 - Madam Vice President. - Janet Ryland. 79 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,960 Gosh, I think the last time that we saw each other was at the... 80 00:03:03,039 --> 00:03:05,120 - The Correspondents' Dinner. - The Correspondents' Dinner. 81 00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:07,080 That's right. I think you've grown since then. 82 00:03:07,159 --> 00:03:08,680 Either that or you've gotten shorter. 83 00:03:08,759 --> 00:03:11,599 - Oh, well... - No, it's me. I've got heels on. 84 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,560 Well, anyway, I'm so happy you're here. 85 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:15,719 So you found the joint okay. 86 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,079 Oh, yeah, I think this is our fourth vice presidential interview. 87 00:03:18,159 --> 00:03:19,560 - Is that so? - Mm-hmm. 88 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:21,439 The three of them were excellent, so no pressure. 89 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,360 - He's talking to me. - Okay. 90 00:03:24,439 --> 00:03:26,560 So what is the plan, then? What are we going to do? 91 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,120 Well, we'll start, I think, just with a little walk around the room. 92 00:03:29,199 --> 00:03:31,639 And then the formal interview, I thought, right here. 93 00:03:31,719 --> 00:03:33,199 - Oh, right here? Okay. - Yeah. 94 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,000 But that means that this has to go. 95 00:03:35,079 --> 00:03:36,680 I thought you were doing it over there. 96 00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:39,560 No, we did, but we're gonna do it here, and that's perfectly fine. 97 00:03:39,639 --> 00:03:42,680 So we'll get that poor thing away. 98 00:03:42,759 --> 00:03:44,879 Anyway, have you met my daughter? 99 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,360 So you did get my final e-mail on topics? 100 00:03:47,439 --> 00:03:50,000 - No, but my spam filter did. - Seriously, did you get it? 101 00:03:50,079 --> 00:03:52,439 Did I? ( laughs ) 102 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,319 Yeah, we're all set. Let's make some history here, folks. 103 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,159 Cody: Okay, roll cameras. 104 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,520 Thank you so much for inviting us 105 00:03:59,599 --> 00:04:01,560 into your home today, Madam Vice President. 106 00:04:01,639 --> 00:04:03,039 Oh, well, it's certainly my pleasure. 107 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,319 I thought it might be fun to talk about what's original 108 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,319 and what's been augmented over the years. 109 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,319 We're talking about the building, right? 110 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,680 ( both laugh ) 111 00:04:12,759 --> 00:04:15,759 - Because I'm original. - You certainly are. 112 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,240 - No, yes, the building, ma'am. - Yes. 113 00:04:17,319 --> 00:04:20,279 Selina: The building itself is Queen Anne style. 114 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,879 Many of the objay-ects-- objects 115 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:26,759 are from the good old boys in the Navy, as a matter of fact. 116 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:28,279 - Really? - Jolly Jack Tars. 117 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:32,040 For instance, this-- this spyglass here, or telescope-- 118 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,000 - To see spies. - ( laughs ) If only, right? 119 00:04:35,079 --> 00:04:36,680 You know, since you brought it up, 120 00:04:36,759 --> 00:04:39,199 would you care to comment on the CIA operative 121 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,879 rescued with the students in Uzbekistan? 122 00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:44,600 Well, I really-- I wouldn't know what to say 123 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,519 because at this point 124 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,040 the investigation is pending. 125 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,600 Now this here 126 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,680 is a stunning sort of navigational device. 127 00:04:54,759 --> 00:04:56,600 I just thought you might want to comment 128 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,800 on how he endangered the lives of those young students. 129 00:04:59,879 --> 00:05:01,959 But it would be wrong and unethical 130 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,639 for me to prejudge the investigation. 131 00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:10,839 - This is a bell. - ( rings ) 132 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,600 Can we get some shots of just you and Janet walking in the hallway? 133 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,079 - Sure. - No sound. 134 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,560 We're gonna just do some establishing shots. 135 00:05:16,639 --> 00:05:18,120 - We'll put her voice over-- - We'll lay that in later. 136 00:05:18,199 --> 00:05:20,120 - Yeah, okay. - Cody: And action. 137 00:05:22,079 --> 00:05:24,720 Yeah, I thought we said that the spy thing 138 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,600 was completely off-limits, you know? 139 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,160 I'm sorry, it seemed to me-- 140 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,680 I'm really hoping that that's gonna be the last 141 00:05:30,759 --> 00:05:33,680 and only gotcha question. 142 00:05:33,759 --> 00:05:37,480 It just seemed to me that you were wanting me to bring it up. 143 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,120 No, that wasn't the case at all. 144 00:05:40,199 --> 00:05:41,600 I understand why you're tense. 145 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,079 No, I'm not tense, Janet. 146 00:05:43,159 --> 00:05:44,639 I'm not even remotely tense. 147 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,680 Just trying to get this done right. 148 00:05:46,759 --> 00:05:49,240 - Mm-hmm. - This is some old shit 149 00:05:49,319 --> 00:05:50,839 by somebody, I don't know who it is. 150 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,199 - Is this house haunted? - Oh, God, I don't know. 151 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:54,959 I hate this house, to tell you the truth. 152 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,240 It's like living in a doll's jail. 153 00:05:57,319 --> 00:05:59,639 - Cynthia, could I get clips? - Cody: Okay, let's settle. 154 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,959 - Clear the background, please. - Gives you a nicer line. 155 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,319 You don't need clips. Your shape is great. 156 00:06:04,399 --> 00:06:06,120 - But what about this? - Oh, my God. 157 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,519 Okay, here, let's tuck this under. Put your hands like this. 158 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,600 But that looks like I have a stomachache. 159 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,480 - Thank you so much. - Okay, let's roll cameras. 160 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,439 Everybody settle in here. Thank you, Glen. 161 00:06:18,519 --> 00:06:20,000 - Sound? - Man: Sound speeding. 162 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:21,839 And we are rolling. 163 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,079 You know what? I'm feeling a little bit dark. 164 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,199 Yeah, just want to... 165 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:28,279 Gary, can we get that light back? 166 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,839 Sorry, let's move that light back. 167 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,879 Can we get a couple of lights for the vice president? 168 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:34,680 Yeah, let me just pull that out of my ass. 169 00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:37,680 It's DC. You can find someone willing to open their ass on a Sunday. 170 00:06:37,759 --> 00:06:40,159 Great, good luck. Sound is speeding. 171 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,560 Everyone is set and settled. They look great. 172 00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:44,399 And rolling. 173 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,759 Have you read Randall Howard's 174 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:51,360 "Hearts of Power: DC's Most Influential Couples"? 175 00:06:51,439 --> 00:06:53,959 Sadly, I don't have a lot of time to read fiction. 176 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,000 ( laughs ) 177 00:06:56,079 --> 00:06:58,800 Janet: Now, during the election, 178 00:06:58,879 --> 00:07:01,000 there were reports of screaming matches 179 00:07:01,079 --> 00:07:03,199 with you and your ex-husband Andrew 180 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:05,720 and suggestions that the smiles and shows of affection 181 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,680 were all faked for the camera. 182 00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:09,800 Was your friendship all for show? 183 00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:12,040 Absolutely not. 184 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,079 Now, Andrew was on the campaign trail with me, 185 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,000 really, because he shared, and still does share, 186 00:07:18,079 --> 00:07:20,079 my vision for America. 187 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,160 - Cody: Okay. - Amy: We'd like a reset for lighting. 188 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,399 - We're gonna reset for lighting. - Just a quick lighting reset. 189 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,399 And, really, she can move on from Andrew. 190 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,240 I mean, she can push as much as she likes, 191 00:07:29,319 --> 00:07:31,240 but you're just gonna get the same answer, so... 192 00:07:31,319 --> 00:07:33,800 Hmm, have you seen television news before? 193 00:07:33,879 --> 00:07:36,240 No, I am hoping to get the box set for Christmas, though. 194 00:07:36,319 --> 00:07:37,839 - That's what it feels like. - Uh-huh. 195 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,199 - ( phone ringing ) - What? Excuse me. 196 00:07:40,279 --> 00:07:42,639 - Okay. - Yes? 197 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,560 - What are you-- - Come here. 198 00:07:44,639 --> 00:07:47,040 - Why? Why are you calling me? - Come here. 199 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,759 Jesus, you might as well cut out eyeholes 200 00:07:49,839 --> 00:07:52,279 and peer through a fucking newspaper. What the fuck are you doing? 201 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,159 It's "Apocalypse Now." 202 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,279 There's an e-mail from Andrew to a lobbyist. 203 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,159 He's claiming super access to Selina. 204 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,000 - He's bragging about it. - This? 205 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,639 It's fucking Andrew, yeah. 206 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,279 - Madam Vice President. - Yes? Yes? 207 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,160 Does your ex-husband Andrew have any political aspirations? 208 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,000 - Oh, my goodness. - We've got to tell her. 209 00:08:08,079 --> 00:08:11,000 - (whisper) We've got to tell her. - No, don't say anything to Selina. 210 00:08:11,079 --> 00:08:12,759 - Why? - 'Cause Janet's right there. 211 00:08:12,839 --> 00:08:14,360 You don't think she's gonna notice we're whispering in her ear? 212 00:08:14,439 --> 00:08:16,279 Then she gets on and she tells this dildo to look it up. 213 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,079 - And then we have a fucking story. - What's going on? 214 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:19,560 Andrew's fucking us again. 215 00:08:19,639 --> 00:08:21,120 He's screwed us in all known dimensions. 216 00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:22,680 - What's new? - Another scandal. 217 00:08:22,759 --> 00:08:24,600 Yeah, but this is fucking bad shit. 218 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,199 He's political poison. He's political-- 219 00:08:26,279 --> 00:08:28,040 - Hi, Andrew. - Andrew. 220 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,639 He's been in commercial real estate his entire life. 221 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,039 So there's no reason there would be-- should be a crossover? 222 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,320 Well, I certainly couldn't, you know, 223 00:08:35,399 --> 00:08:38,440 answer that question for him. 224 00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:41,558 Would it surprise you to learn that only moments ago 225 00:08:41,639 --> 00:08:43,840 a blog has reported that your ex-husband 226 00:08:43,919 --> 00:08:47,279 promised a lobbyist favorable access to your office? 227 00:08:49,039 --> 00:08:50,519 Um... 228 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,679 It does exist in an actual e-mail 229 00:08:52,759 --> 00:08:55,679 - from your ex-husband. - Oh, I see. Okay. 230 00:08:55,759 --> 00:08:58,879 "Hi, Jim. Remember, I have the vice president's ear 231 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,200 "and I can get all kinds of access to her." 232 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:05,240 And then there's one of those winking emoticons 233 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,399 at the bottom there. 234 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,480 I'm guessing that that was meant as some sort of a joke. 235 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,720 You know, Andrew Meyer has no influence whatsoever 236 00:09:12,799 --> 00:09:15,360 over my decision-making. 237 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,240 It's hard to believe, because you've just painted a picture 238 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,399 of your relationship being very close, extremely close. 239 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,799 We're not telepathically linked. 240 00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:25,080 - He can't read my mind. - Amy: Hey, that's our 15 minutes. 241 00:09:25,159 --> 00:09:27,440 That's the 15-minute mark. Great. Great. 242 00:09:27,519 --> 00:09:29,399 Mike: Let's take a break. Let's take a break. 243 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,919 - Oh! - God! 244 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,759 - Okay. - Amy: Are you okay, Gary? 245 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,919 Yeah, yeah, I'm good. 246 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,559 Sorry, could I just adjust your radio mike? 247 00:09:37,639 --> 00:09:39,039 - I'm getting some static. - I got it. 248 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,200 Ow! Whoa! Okay, my ears are my livelihood. 249 00:09:41,279 --> 00:09:42,679 - You don't need to-- - Okay, I bet. 250 00:09:42,759 --> 00:09:44,519 All right. Let's just back off. 251 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,879 I know that you want to kill somebody right now... 252 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,320 ...but unfortunately it can't be anyone in the building. 253 00:09:50,399 --> 00:09:52,799 - Okay? - Okay. 254 00:09:52,879 --> 00:09:55,440 When Selina told me who was gonna be interviewing me, 255 00:09:55,519 --> 00:09:57,000 you couldn't keep me away. 256 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,879 - Talk to you a little later on. - Wonderful. 257 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,399 - I look forward to it. - I do, too. 258 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,799 But let's take you now and get you all changed 259 00:10:02,879 --> 00:10:04,360 and fixed up. 260 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,200 When we were married, he took longer in the bathroom than I did. 261 00:10:07,279 --> 00:10:09,480 - It's not true. Why do you say that? - Just get in here. 262 00:10:10,879 --> 00:10:13,279 - What the hell is this thing? - That's a cable. 263 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,000 - Oh, shit. - There's a cable. 264 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,159 Listen to me. What were you thinking? 265 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,639 What? It was a joke. 266 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,919 Once again, Andrew, you have totally 267 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,679 lived down to my expectations. 268 00:10:23,759 --> 00:10:26,360 When I invited you here to the residence 269 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,480 to fuck me, I didn't mean this. 270 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:29,960 Aren't we using each other? 271 00:10:30,039 --> 00:10:31,440 What are you talking about? 272 00:10:31,519 --> 00:10:33,200 Okay, I'll spell it out for you. 273 00:10:33,279 --> 00:10:36,600 How easy is it for the Vice President of the United States 274 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,240 of America to get some casual sex, hmm? 275 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,240 I'm convenient. 276 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:43,679 - And, I know-- - Let me tell you something. 277 00:10:43,759 --> 00:10:46,320 That's right, I am the Vice President of the United States 278 00:10:46,399 --> 00:10:50,600 and I choose now not to fuck you anymore. 279 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:52,720 Time will tell. 280 00:10:52,799 --> 00:10:54,639 I've got to change. 281 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,240 Yeah, you look awful. 282 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,320 - You look wonderful. - Stop it. 283 00:10:58,399 --> 00:11:00,720 Ahem, he's gonna go just change. 284 00:11:00,799 --> 00:11:02,480 - Wait, where's he going? - To get my stuff. 285 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:03,960 In my bedroom. 286 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:05,960 Oh, no. Uh-uh. 287 00:11:06,039 --> 00:11:08,559 Oh, Andrew's been veep-fucking? You knew about this? 288 00:11:08,639 --> 00:11:11,000 Okay, this is a Category Five shit storm. 289 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,360 She's over. She's done. I'm gone. 290 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,799 Cody: Um, I'm wondering if we can get just a shot 291 00:11:16,879 --> 00:11:19,120 of Andrew's entrance just for establishing. 292 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,159 So you guys meet here, kiss, kiss, hi, hi. 293 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,639 It's a family getting together. 294 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,720 No, no, I understand what an entrance is 295 00:11:24,799 --> 00:11:26,360 and how to greet people. I get that. 296 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,320 Cody: That's great. Oh, here he comes! 297 00:11:28,399 --> 00:11:30,240 Amy: No, no, no, wait, wait, wait! 298 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,799 Selina: No, no, you're not gonna get this. 299 00:11:31,879 --> 00:11:33,360 I'm so sorry. We're not gonna do that. 300 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,039 We don't have a front door in our attic 301 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,320 like in some sort of Dr. Seuss book or something. 302 00:11:37,399 --> 00:11:39,960 Sometimes filming these off-guarded moments, things get a little tense. 303 00:11:40,039 --> 00:11:41,639 Well, no, it's not tense at all. 304 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,559 We're having a great time and I'm thrilled you guys are here, 305 00:11:43,639 --> 00:11:45,039 but let's just do it the right way. 306 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,679 - Andrew! - Hi, Dad. 307 00:11:46,759 --> 00:11:48,600 How are you? Nice to see you. Excuse me. 308 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,200 - How are you? - Nice to see you. 309 00:11:51,279 --> 00:11:53,440 - Dad. - Hi. How are you? 310 00:11:53,519 --> 00:11:56,159 - How often does this happen? - Oh, gosh. 311 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:59,039 Once a week we get together for a gab and a gobble. 312 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,919 Yeah, well, I mean, you know, schedules permitting and stuff, 313 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,840 because now I really consider myself to be married 314 00:12:04,919 --> 00:12:07,039 to my vice presidential office. 315 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,519 I mean, recently Mary King and I were working 316 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,080 through the night to avoid this shutdown. 317 00:12:12,159 --> 00:12:15,000 And of course it wasn't-- it wasn't avoided, sadly. 318 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,440 Do you think you could have worked a little harder on that? 319 00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,720 - ( laughs ) - Well, we are working harder. 320 00:12:19,799 --> 00:12:22,080 - It's frustrating, of course. - Sure. 321 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:24,840 - To the American people it is. - It's a very long process. 322 00:12:24,919 --> 00:12:27,320 Knock, knock, J Rock is in the-- 323 00:12:27,399 --> 00:12:29,960 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - We're in the middle of filming. 324 00:12:30,039 --> 00:12:32,840 - Oh, my goodness, Jonah. - J Dog. J Dog. 325 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,840 - Howdy, handsome. How are you? - How are you doing? 326 00:12:34,919 --> 00:12:36,519 - Hey, Jonah. - Great to see you again. 327 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,600 God, you've grown up, huh? 328 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,200 - Great time at your birthday party. - That's great. 329 00:12:41,279 --> 00:12:42,879 Great to see you. Hey, how's it hanging? 330 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,879 Jonah is our-- dear Jonah is our White House liaison. 331 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,960 Guilty. 332 00:12:49,039 --> 00:12:52,399 And he's one of the more colorful characters in the West Wing. 333 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,879 I'll say. That was quite an entrance. 334 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,639 Oh, thank you. I try to make a mark. 335 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,960 I just want to say I'm a huge fan, by the way. 336 00:12:58,039 --> 00:12:59,480 - I love your work genuinely. - Thank you. 337 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:00,960 And, actually, I'm gonna give you my card 338 00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:02,600 just in case you ever need any sort of, like, 339 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:04,440 "inside the West Wing" kind of stuff. 340 00:13:04,519 --> 00:13:06,320 I do occasional media appearances. 341 00:13:06,399 --> 00:13:07,799 I give great talking head. 342 00:13:07,879 --> 00:13:10,679 Jonah, to what may we owe this pleasure? 343 00:13:10,759 --> 00:13:12,840 Oh, I just got off the phone with the White House 344 00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:14,799 and in 15 minutes POTUS is going to announce 345 00:13:14,879 --> 00:13:16,399 that the shutdown is over. 346 00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:20,399 - Dan: Is that true? - Isn't that great? 347 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,600 - Isn't that great? - Move in on her. 348 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:24,919 Yeah, the Speaker, Senate Majority Leader, 349 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,840 and POTUS, they thrashed out a deal 350 00:13:26,919 --> 00:13:29,720 - and we switched America back on. - Uh-huh, yes. 351 00:13:29,799 --> 00:13:31,759 - Congratulations, Vice President. - Thank you. 352 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,080 - ( applause ) - We did it. We did it. You did it. 353 00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:36,759 The resolution took less time than you anticipated. 354 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,960 Well, it took all the time leading up to this time. 355 00:13:40,039 --> 00:13:42,279 So you were expecting a solution today? 356 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,759 Yes, I was, yes. 357 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,240 And yet you said it was going to be a long process. 358 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,879 And it was, yeah. It was. 359 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,559 Were you involved in the-- 360 00:13:50,639 --> 00:13:52,240 Janet, it's like when you loosen a pickle jar 361 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:53,759 and somebody comes by and they just open it. 362 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,240 This is the shutdown lid loosener. 363 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,080 - The pickle jar loosener. - I like it. 364 00:13:59,159 --> 00:14:02,440 No, but can you talk us through the final agreement? 365 00:14:02,519 --> 00:14:04,879 I can-- it's-- you know-- 366 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,840 I can and I also want to eat some lunch. 367 00:14:07,919 --> 00:14:09,720 Are we hungry? 368 00:14:09,799 --> 00:14:11,840 - Mike: Mm-hmm, definitely. - Amy: Yeah, let's get some lunch. 369 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,600 That's a cut. Yeah, I think that's a cut. 370 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:15,080 - Amy: Lunchtime. - Mike: That's a cut. 371 00:14:15,159 --> 00:14:16,559 - Okay, she doesn't-- - Oh, my God, she didn't know. 372 00:14:16,639 --> 00:14:19,080 That reminded me why I got into this business. 373 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,240 I am so attracted to you right now. 374 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,919 I think that I'd like to just sit back 375 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,519 and watch you all prepare this meal. 376 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,000 - Pretend I'm not here. - Mm-hmm. 377 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,480 I kind of want to be the fly on a wall. 378 00:14:28,559 --> 00:14:31,320 Oh, my God. Andrew, that's getting everywhere. 379 00:14:31,399 --> 00:14:33,720 Um, I'm gonna get you a... 380 00:14:33,799 --> 00:14:35,240 peeler, okay? 381 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,000 I don't need a peeler. Thank you. 382 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,799 - Yeah, you need a peeler. - Actually, I don't. 383 00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,559 Where-- I'm trying to remember where-- 384 00:14:42,639 --> 00:14:44,600 you know how sometimes you have something in your kitchen, 385 00:14:44,679 --> 00:14:46,759 you know where it is, and then all of a sudden you can't find it? 386 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,279 And that is what's happened to me right now. 387 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,480 Well, you probably have so much staff in and out of here-- 388 00:14:50,559 --> 00:14:54,120 No, no, no. I know this kitchen like the back of my hand. 389 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,799 Oh, that's not it. 390 00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:58,519 Okay, I don't know where-- 391 00:14:59,559 --> 00:15:01,879 ( groans ) This is maddening. 392 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,240 Do you ever have this happen to you where you're-- 393 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,080 - I'm not here. - You're not here. I'm so sorry. 394 00:15:07,159 --> 00:15:09,200 I'm talking to myself. Where are you, peeler? 395 00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:10,720 Okay, I got it. 396 00:15:10,799 --> 00:15:13,000 It was in with the napkins, inexplicably. 397 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,879 Here you go. Use that for the carrots. 398 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,240 Actually, I'm all done. I'm good. 399 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,960 - Okay. - Don't you normally have staff 400 00:15:20,039 --> 00:15:22,679 - to cater for you? - Yeah, definitely. 401 00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:25,399 Well, sure, but I just love banging the pots around. 402 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,080 And I think you would say that I'm a foodie. 403 00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,039 So, just to flag with you, 404 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,039 Andrew's obviously off the table. 405 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,120 Well, technically he's very much at the table currently. 406 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,600 Janet: What's on the menu? 407 00:15:36,679 --> 00:15:38,320 Herb roasted chicken 408 00:15:38,399 --> 00:15:41,000 and some arugula salad. 409 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,200 Janet: Catherine, do you enjoy your folks' cooking? 410 00:15:43,279 --> 00:15:46,240 Yeah, I love the way that they cook the vegetables. 411 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,080 The vegetables are always my favorite. 412 00:15:48,159 --> 00:15:50,840 I just love vegetables so much. 413 00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:52,559 Are you working for the vegetable lobby? 414 00:15:52,639 --> 00:15:54,200 - ( all laugh ) - I'll be right back. 415 00:15:54,279 --> 00:15:56,120 - I just have to grab something. - Okay, darling. 416 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,679 Selina: Please, can you use the peeler? 417 00:15:57,759 --> 00:15:59,399 - I'm all done with the carrots. - Oh, my God. 418 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,080 - No, you're not. - That's all the carrots we're using. 419 00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:03,159 I realize there are more carrots. 420 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,120 We don't need any more. 421 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,200 ( stammering ) The Get Moving campaign, 422 00:16:08,279 --> 00:16:10,320 - which as you know I spearheaded. - Yes. 423 00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,840 As I launched that campaign, I discovered 424 00:16:12,919 --> 00:16:15,039 a local organic butcher. 425 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,960 And... 426 00:16:18,039 --> 00:16:19,879 he does a lot of... 427 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,639 grass-fed... 428 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,519 Grass-fed cattle 429 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,919 - and free-range chickens. - Yeah. Yeah. 430 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,840 Janet: What's your favorite meal that you can't wait to have? 431 00:16:29,919 --> 00:16:34,360 I really-- I love the roasted brussels sprouts 432 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,240 that my mom and dad make. 433 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,240 Yep. 434 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,960 Selina: Okay, well, they're taking a break, 435 00:16:43,039 --> 00:16:46,159 so this gives us a chance to come in here, have a little chat. 436 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,080 You never told me that you were a vegetarian. 437 00:16:48,159 --> 00:16:50,360 - I told you three months ago. - No, you didn't, Catherine. 438 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,320 - What? - Now that she mentions it, 439 00:16:52,399 --> 00:16:54,639 - I think it does sound familiar. - Completely useless. 440 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,840 You know what? Just because he's a liability 441 00:16:56,919 --> 00:16:58,600 doesn't mean you have to be a liability, too. 442 00:16:58,679 --> 00:17:00,240 Now I'm gonna tell you something. You're eating that chicken. 443 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,159 I am not gonna do it. I'm a vegetarian, Mom. 444 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,440 You swallowed chicken your entire life. 445 00:17:04,519 --> 00:17:06,039 You're gonna do it again today. 446 00:17:06,118 --> 00:17:08,358 I swallowed your bullshit my entire life. 447 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,519 Okay, look, little lady, we don't talk to your mother like that. 448 00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:12,039 All right, I'm just-- God damn it. 449 00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,200 - Could you-- - Amy: Yes, yes, yes. 450 00:17:14,279 --> 00:17:17,200 You know when you're 12 and you just get rid of it? 451 00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:18,880 No. Speak for yourself. 452 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,559 It's gonna look really bad for your mom 453 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,799 if she doesn't know that you're a vegetarian on TV. 454 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,759 I'm not gonna sacrifice my morals for her career anymore. 455 00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:28,599 I've done that. It's not that bad. 456 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,599 Well, doesn't that chicken look just amazing, Catherine? 457 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,559 - It looks delicious. - Yeah. 458 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,279 I love it when Dad cooks. 459 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,680 - Janet: A man of hidden talents. - I don't like to brag. 460 00:17:37,759 --> 00:17:39,240 Janet: Not about cooking, anyway. 461 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,799 Okay, babe, here you go. 462 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,279 - Wow. - Eat that up. 463 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:43,759 I just need to reiterate with you. 464 00:17:43,839 --> 00:17:45,720 We have agreed on all of these topics. 465 00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:47,799 And the Andrew e-mail story was not agreed. 466 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,279 Sweetheart, it's news. 467 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:52,279 Okay? It happened today. It's new with an S on it. 468 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,000 That's just what news is. 469 00:17:54,079 --> 00:17:55,759 With all due respect, this is not news. 470 00:17:55,839 --> 00:17:57,519 This is the fucking Food Channel you got here. 471 00:17:57,599 --> 00:17:59,880 Okay, well, with all due respect, fuck you. 472 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,480 I own the edit on your shit-show politician 473 00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:05,480 that you connected yourself to, not me, you little gremlin. 474 00:18:05,559 --> 00:18:08,039 Janet: And has it been a happy divorce for you, Catherine? 475 00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:10,000 Mmm, yeah. 476 00:18:10,079 --> 00:18:11,720 I think knowing that my mom 477 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,759 had to be available 24 hours a day 478 00:18:13,839 --> 00:18:16,200 really taught me not to be too demanding as a child. 479 00:18:16,279 --> 00:18:17,680 Selina: That's true. 480 00:18:17,759 --> 00:18:19,839 So you don't feel parentally shortchanged, then, 481 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,880 - do you, Catherine? - No. 482 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,480 I'm actually a big music fan, 483 00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:26,200 so I usually try to explain my parents in terms of music. 484 00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,319 You know, musicians sometimes are better in bands 485 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,960 - or sometimes better solo. - That's interesting. 486 00:18:31,039 --> 00:18:33,039 They're like the Beatles, you know, better as a band 487 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:35,960 or Michael Jackson, better solo. 488 00:18:36,039 --> 00:18:39,319 Although not a great parent, admittedly. 489 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,960 Well, actually, he did okay with his own kids. 490 00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:44,680 It's when other kids got involved that it got real dicey. 491 00:18:44,759 --> 00:18:47,599 But, no, then he did dangle that one from a great height. 492 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,240 Right? Over that railing? 493 00:18:49,319 --> 00:18:50,720 Ahem. 494 00:18:50,799 --> 00:18:52,440 You know, you cross me on this 495 00:18:52,519 --> 00:18:55,000 and you're never, ever gonna get the veep on camera again. 496 00:18:55,079 --> 00:18:57,680 Why the fuck-- why are you still talking to me, huh? 497 00:18:57,759 --> 00:19:00,160 If you'd let someone get close enough to fuck some sunshine into you, 498 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,640 you'd shut your mouth! 499 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,160 - You-- you-- - Okay, okay. 500 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,640 You do not know anything about me. 501 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,440 You think that this is easy, what I do? 502 00:19:06,519 --> 00:19:09,400 Yeah, having 10,000 interests screaming in your fucking face 503 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,519 the way that I am screaming in your face right now all day, every day? 504 00:19:12,599 --> 00:19:14,759 - I am fucking good at this. - Can we just put a filter-- 505 00:19:14,839 --> 00:19:16,559 - Are you? This is good? - Fuck your face, Gary. 506 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,000 - She's good at this, guys. Sorry. - Fuck my face. You hear that? 507 00:19:19,079 --> 00:19:21,000 Antique windows. Bring it down. 508 00:19:21,079 --> 00:19:23,119 - What the fuck just happened? - Antique windows. Bring it down. 509 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,359 Amy, let's go find your dignity over here, okay? 510 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,519 Get her out of here. Fucking amateur. 511 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,480 - All right. All right. - Hey, no, no, no, no. 512 00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,640 - No, seriously-- - No. Whoa, okay. 513 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,839 Okay, listen, you need to calm down. 514 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,279 At least I am giving a shit. You are flatlining all day. 515 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:40,640 Okay, okay. But has she been impressive at all today? 516 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,559 Look, I've graphed her performance, okay? 517 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,119 Look at this. Look at this nice little graphic. 518 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,759 Here's time, here's her fucking career. ( whistles ) 519 00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:48,359 Now maybe there should be a little uptick, 520 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,559 because she didn't barf her food all over the table, I don't know. 521 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,200 So if she doesn't turn this fucking shit-show around, guess what, 522 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,720 I don't know which way I'm gonna bounce. 523 00:19:54,799 --> 00:19:58,200 Amy, when my memaw used to find herself getting snappy, 524 00:19:58,279 --> 00:19:59,799 she would sing her favorite song. 525 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,640 # Oh, I wish I were in the land of cotton # 526 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,839 # Old times there were not forgotten # 527 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,200 # Look away, look away # 528 00:20:07,279 --> 00:20:09,200 - # Look away, Dixieland. # - No, guys, please. 529 00:20:09,279 --> 00:20:10,920 Favorite family vacation? 530 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,680 - White water rafting. - Italy. 531 00:20:12,759 --> 00:20:15,160 - Disneyland. - Which is it? 532 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,480 No, honey, we didn't ever go to Disneyland. 533 00:20:17,559 --> 00:20:20,480 Oh, no, you didn't take me. Rosa took me with her family. 534 00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:22,079 Who's Rosa? 535 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,559 - She was a... - She was... 536 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,160 - housekeeper. - Housekeeper, that's right. 537 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,920 You spent a lot of time with your housekeeper? 538 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,400 Yeah, she was like a-- 539 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,599 - We did go to India. - Mmm. 540 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,279 - India was awful. - Hmm? 541 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,160 I don't know why you didn't give me this earlier. 542 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,519 I didn't want to give it to you before your interview. 543 00:20:36,599 --> 00:20:38,559 - God, you don't want any water? - No, I've gotten good at it. 544 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,200 Look at this. I was supposed to be stressing my successes. 545 00:20:41,279 --> 00:20:43,480 Instead I'm sitting there stuffing my face with chicken. 546 00:20:43,559 --> 00:20:46,079 Great stuff in there, guys. Good stuff. Thumbs up. 547 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,599 Andrew looks great on camera. 548 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,359 - Get off my stairs, Jonah. - Ma'am. 549 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,319 I need to give you some straight talk right now, okay? 550 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,960 All of your worst fears about how this day could have possibly gone... 551 00:20:54,039 --> 00:20:55,400 - Yeah? - ...have come true. 552 00:20:55,759 --> 00:20:57,400 - Oh, my gosh. - No, no, up here. Look at me. 553 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:58,960 - You want to own this interview? - Yeah. 554 00:20:59,039 --> 00:21:00,519 - Say it. - I want to own it. 555 00:21:00,599 --> 00:21:02,079 Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna do something big. 556 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,599 You're gonna do something bold. 557 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,440 And you're gonna do it in the next five minutes. 558 00:21:05,519 --> 00:21:06,960 How about this? How about I lift up my dress, 559 00:21:07,039 --> 00:21:08,519 give everyone a big fat shot of my cooch? 560 00:21:08,599 --> 00:21:10,480 - Jesus Christ. - Everything okay up there? 561 00:21:10,559 --> 00:21:13,200 - You need more pep talk? - No, let's do it. 562 00:21:13,279 --> 00:21:14,839 - Did he just hear that? - Nope. 563 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,799 Use the Force, ma'am. 564 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,720 I don't even know what that means. 565 00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:21,079 Big and bold. What do you mean? Like a medley from "Okla"-fucking-"homa"? 566 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,640 Look, I tried to wake her up, okay? 567 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,640 I have no choice, but to be the fucking curveball. 568 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,720 - Andrew: Ahem. - Fantastic. Okay. 569 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,000 Cody: Let's roll cameras. Sound. 570 00:21:34,599 --> 00:21:37,240 Janet: So, what a lovely afternoon 571 00:21:37,319 --> 00:21:39,400 I have gotten to spend with the Second Family. 572 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,960 How about hat? Yeah. 573 00:21:41,039 --> 00:21:42,440 And, Catherine, would you vote 574 00:21:42,519 --> 00:21:44,920 for your parents to get back together again? 575 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,680 No, no, no. This way, I get a Christmas 576 00:21:46,759 --> 00:21:48,480 and a birthday present off of each of them. 577 00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:49,960 ( laughs ) 578 00:21:50,039 --> 00:21:51,759 Catherine, how does all this affect 579 00:21:51,839 --> 00:21:53,799 how you approach relationships? 580 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,599 Not terribly much. I'm in a very different phase of my life. 581 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,680 You know, my boyfriend and I are very young 582 00:21:58,759 --> 00:22:01,119 and not really talking about marriage. 583 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,880 And this would be Rahim? 584 00:22:04,759 --> 00:22:06,200 Yes. 585 00:22:06,279 --> 00:22:08,759 Janet: That is an interesting name. 586 00:22:08,839 --> 00:22:10,880 - Is that Indian? - It's Iranian. 587 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,359 Janet: Iranian? 588 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,160 It's second generation American Persian. 589 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,119 Calling Tel Aviv now. 590 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,720 And has he been welcomed into your home? 591 00:22:19,799 --> 00:22:21,200 No. 592 00:22:21,279 --> 00:22:23,759 Only because it's just-- it's a casual thing 593 00:22:23,839 --> 00:22:25,839 and it's actually ended. 594 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,400 Really? I'm sorry to hear that, honey. 595 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,880 Catherine: That's okay. 596 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,920 Speaking of relationships-- 597 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,839 Andrew, I'm sorry, I simply have to ask you 598 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,920 about your relationship with lobbyist Jim Melita, 599 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,839 and the implication that you offered access to the vice president. 600 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,279 Yeah, um, it's-- 601 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,599 Um... in a word-- 602 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,839 Come on. 603 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,200 Perhaps it's possible 604 00:22:51,279 --> 00:22:54,920 that I have overplayed my hand. 605 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,640 Selina: Well, I think it's safe to say 606 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,680 that Andrew overreached 607 00:22:59,759 --> 00:23:02,200 and just said something silly. Yeah. 608 00:23:02,279 --> 00:23:04,519 I suppose that the vice president 609 00:23:04,599 --> 00:23:06,799 would also agree that 610 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,839 when she said she was in the loop 611 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,680 over national security, 612 00:23:10,759 --> 00:23:13,359 that also may have been an bit of an exaggeration. 613 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,680 I'm actually not sure that those two situations are comparable. 614 00:23:18,759 --> 00:23:20,200 I believe that they are. 615 00:23:20,279 --> 00:23:22,839 And insomuch as you refuse to comment 616 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,480 on the spy allegations or the hostage situation 617 00:23:25,559 --> 00:23:27,359 until the investigation is complete, 618 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,240 I, too, would like to refrain 619 00:23:29,319 --> 00:23:31,759 until I find out just exactly what it is 620 00:23:31,839 --> 00:23:34,480 I'm accused of having said or not said. 621 00:23:34,559 --> 00:23:37,680 You do understand that sounds like you're playing for time 622 00:23:37,759 --> 00:23:40,480 and actually are hiding something? 623 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,920 I'm sorry, was that a question for me or Selina? 624 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,759 I think that question is for me. 625 00:23:48,599 --> 00:23:50,839 I want to talk about the spy. 626 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,680 The CIA operative. 627 00:23:52,759 --> 00:23:54,599 - Mike: No, no. - Dan: Yeah, yeah. 628 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:58,480 There was a miscommunication for which I want to apologize 629 00:23:58,559 --> 00:24:00,400 on behalf of the administration. 630 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,960 You know, the intention was never to mislead 631 00:24:04,039 --> 00:24:06,920 the American people, but that was its effect. 632 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,160 - Shit. - And for that, I am truly sorry. 633 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,599 But I am saying that I had full knowledge 634 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,440 of the spy's status. 635 00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:16,480 - But she didn't. - I know. 636 00:24:16,559 --> 00:24:18,880 Madam Vice President, this is quite an admission. 637 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,279 Mm-hmm. I have taken on a role now, 638 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:24,880 an important role in national security 639 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:28,359 and I take great pride in that responsibility. 640 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,279 Now, sometimes you have to act. 641 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,200 Always you have to listen. 642 00:24:33,279 --> 00:24:36,640 Because in politics, 643 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,240 a backbone and a heart 644 00:24:40,319 --> 00:24:42,599 are only as good 645 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:43,920 as your ears. 646 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:49,720 And my ears are my livelihood. 647 00:24:50,079 --> 00:24:52,000 Cody: Okay, that's our segment, guys. 648 00:24:52,079 --> 00:24:54,000 - ( applause ) - Man: That's it. Great. Good. 649 00:24:54,079 --> 00:24:55,480 That's good. 650 00:24:55,559 --> 00:24:58,480 Madam Vice President, that was an amazing interview. 651 00:24:58,559 --> 00:25:00,039 Well, thank you very much. 652 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:01,599 You're gonna take the spotlight back 653 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,240 from the end of the shutdown, I'll tell you that. 654 00:25:03,319 --> 00:25:04,960 - We'll see. - Best of luck, Andrew. 655 00:25:05,039 --> 00:25:07,079 - Good to meet you. - Good luck with all the... 656 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,079 Andrew: Way to go, Team Meyer. 657 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,200 How about it? Right? 658 00:25:11,279 --> 00:25:12,839 - Congratulations. - Honestly, that was-- 659 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,359 that was something else, Mom. 660 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,200 I'm really sorry that I brought up Rahim. 661 00:25:16,279 --> 00:25:17,720 I know you didn't want me to do that. 662 00:25:17,799 --> 00:25:19,880 You know what? I'm sorry you had to dump him on the air. 663 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,279 Notes about the interview. Just wanna help you keep an eye out for those. 664 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:23,880 - Get out of here. - How are you doing? 665 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,640 I spewed out so much bullshit, I'm gonna need a mint. 666 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,119 - A fucking mint. - Do you want a mint? 667 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,720 - I'll get you a mint. - No, I don't mean it. 668 00:25:29,799 --> 00:25:32,680 I'm just gonna head back, if anybody needs me-- West Wing. 669 00:25:32,759 --> 00:25:35,640 - No one does, Jonah. - No one needs you, Jonah. 670 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,640 - Selina: Amy. - Yes, ma'am? 671 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:39,720 - Did Andrew leave? - He's gone. 672 00:25:39,799 --> 00:25:41,400 Can you see if he's still out there? 673 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,759 - He just left a jacket. - Oh, your jacket is up here. 674 00:25:43,839 --> 00:25:46,640 - His jacket. - I'll wait here? 675 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,039 - Ma'am, do you need-- - No, it's fine. 676 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,440 I know where his stuff is. 677 00:25:51,519 --> 00:25:53,319 Are they gonna... 678 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,200 it's like a victory fuck? 679 00:25:55,279 --> 00:25:56,680 He better come down. 680 00:25:56,759 --> 00:25:59,759 Is he coming back down? Do we need to wait for him? 681 00:25:59,839 --> 00:26:01,240 - Selina: We got it. - Andrew: We're good. 682 00:26:01,319 --> 00:26:03,359 Okay. 683 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,720 - Where are my parents? - Um... 684 00:26:06,799 --> 00:26:08,319 Did my dad leave? 685 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,599 They're having-- they're having a talk. 686 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,440 - They're having a talk upstairs. - A talk upstairs? 687 00:26:13,519 --> 00:26:16,240 - They may be getting you something. - Oh, Jesus Christ.