1 00:00:06,679 --> 00:00:09,119 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:18,559 --> 00:00:20,960 Dan: We are in the ass of the hurricane. 3 00:00:21,039 --> 00:00:22,800 You may never meet her personally. 4 00:00:22,879 --> 00:00:25,600 She may never catch your eye or ever thank you, 5 00:00:25,679 --> 00:00:27,600 but Selina Meyer will never forget you. 6 00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,679 Kent: You are going to change America 7 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,840 in a way that usually only war and fluoride can. 8 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,439 She's gonna ask you for a chamomile. 9 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,200 She doesn't want chamomile. She wants peppermint. 10 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:38,960 She gets a little confused, but do not point it out. 11 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,240 You guys are the chosen ones, all right? 12 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,039 Not in a Jewish way, either. 13 00:00:43,119 --> 00:00:45,000 In a, like, selected from a very short list of 10 way. 14 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:47,399 Some people say three microwaves is overkill. 15 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,039 My response is always, "Tapas." 16 00:00:50,119 --> 00:00:51,799 And never, ever, ever fuck up. 17 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,240 End of induction. Clear? 18 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,960 Well, the old politics just is not working. 19 00:00:57,039 --> 00:01:00,159 I'm an American, and I aim to be a team player. 20 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,960 Running the country isn't a whole heck of a lot different than running a team. 21 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,480 It's just a few more people involved. 22 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,760 What is our take on this one-dick pony? 23 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,079 He's an ex-baseball manager. 24 00:01:10,159 --> 00:01:12,280 You know that saying, "Anyone can run for president"? 25 00:01:12,359 --> 00:01:15,719 Joe Thornhill is the only reason that that's utter bullshit. 26 00:01:15,799 --> 00:01:17,239 Thornhill: The United States is a team, 27 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,480 and I wanna be your designated hitter. 28 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,840 You know what? I've got to say something to these folks. 29 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,799 - Okay? - ( staff applauding ) 30 00:01:25,879 --> 00:01:28,879 What is that smell? What is that smell? ( sniffs ) 31 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,840 ( gasps ) Oh, I just put Icy Hot on my shoulder. 32 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,439 - Oh, my God, it's so bad. - I'm so sorry. 33 00:01:32,519 --> 00:01:34,158 My nostrils feel like Vietnam. Okay. 34 00:01:34,239 --> 00:01:35,959 - You're still speaking? - Yes, I am. 35 00:01:36,039 --> 00:01:37,920 Oh, my goodness! 36 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,598 What a journey we are about to begin. 37 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,039 - ( ringtone beeps ) - And how does a journey begin? 38 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,120 With a first step. 39 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,039 So, watch my foot. 40 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:48,560 - Boom! - ( cheering ) 41 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,359 - Mike: Genius! - ( chuckles ) 42 00:01:51,439 --> 00:01:53,319 How about that? That's Mike McClintock. 43 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,878 He's our head of comm-- 44 00:01:55,959 --> 00:01:58,039 I don't know where he went, but... 45 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,079 Let's do it, then. Yes! 46 00:02:00,159 --> 00:02:02,079 Where is Gary? Where's everyone running off to? 47 00:02:02,159 --> 00:02:04,280 Is this the beginning of the Rapture? 48 00:02:04,359 --> 00:02:06,159 - I wouldn't give it a second thought. - I'm not, I was just asking. 49 00:02:06,239 --> 00:02:08,598 Here we are, ladies and gentlemen. We have liftoff. 50 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,598 The rockets are lit. Let's get this baby in the air. 51 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,719 - Show me something. - Show us the-- what you got. 52 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,439 Thornhill: I'm just an honest Joe, and I like to speak my mind. 53 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,478 - Ben: Ugh. - Yeah, boy. 54 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,800 How much would I love to speak my mind on this campaign? 55 00:02:19,879 --> 00:02:21,599 Can you imagine if I did that? 56 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,439 "Mississippi is chock-full of assholes." 57 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:24,919 "I don't trust the Chinese." 58 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,840 "I'm not gonna be able to pass a single piece of legislation 59 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:30,919 that's really gonna make any fuck of a difference in your life." 60 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,520 - So how's that for my platform? - Got my vote. 61 00:02:32,599 --> 00:02:35,039 - Yeah, I got your vote. - Forget about him, all right? 62 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,360 No, no, no. Concentrate on Maddox, not Thornhill. 63 00:02:37,439 --> 00:02:39,960 Maddox can walk without looking at his feet. 64 00:02:40,039 --> 00:02:43,478 Can we-- thanks, Ame. What about this luncheon with Ericsson? 65 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,039 Shh! I don't want Dan and Amy to know I'm three-timing them. 66 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,879 Ericsson is the perfect campaign manager, okay? 67 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,360 He's Amy without a conscience and he's Dan without the-- 68 00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,159 the five percent that needs to be loved. 69 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:58,079 I know. - Sue: Ma'am? - Yep, it's me. 70 00:02:58,159 --> 00:03:00,800 No, no-- don't look at me, please. Thank you. 71 00:03:00,879 --> 00:03:05,080 What time is the "unofficial" lunch that I am not having today? 72 00:03:05,159 --> 00:03:07,719 Yeah, it is not officially at 12:45. 73 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,240 Thank you for not letting me know about anything at all. 74 00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:11,759 Yeah. 75 00:03:15,879 --> 00:03:17,919 ( whirring ) 76 00:03:20,759 --> 00:03:22,439 What are you doing, Gary? 77 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:23,919 What's in the bag, Mike? 78 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,159 - You go first. - ( whirring stops ) 79 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,840 I'm washing Icy Hot out of my shirt. 80 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,280 - Of course. - Now it's your turn. 81 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,639 I can't say. I gotta wash my hands. 82 00:03:33,719 --> 00:03:35,800 Oh, my God. 83 00:03:35,879 --> 00:03:38,520 Is that bag full of your fluids? 84 00:03:38,599 --> 00:03:41,879 Not the whole bag. A specimen cup full of little Mikes. 85 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,039 Look, Wendy and I are trying IVF. 86 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,918 We're on a very strict schedule. Please don't say anything. 87 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,960 You're telling me the whole time I was washing my shirt, 88 00:03:50,039 --> 00:03:54,159 - you were in there doing that? - Jesus, Gary, grow up. 89 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,719 All my "troops" are in a cold bag now, okay? 90 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,439 I just gotta get them to the doctor 91 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,439 so he can begin the assault on "Egg Mountain." 92 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,000 ( dryer whirring ) 93 00:04:09,759 --> 00:04:12,560 That's a strong opening, but I think you need a more active verb there. 94 00:04:12,639 --> 00:04:15,159 - Why is Dan being so nice? - You guys remind me of me. 95 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,120 - Look at me now. - Nobody says that shit voluntarily. 96 00:04:18,199 --> 00:04:21,600 Dan is campaigning for campaign manager, okay? 97 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,800 - You're not pushing for him, are you? - Christ, no. 98 00:04:23,879 --> 00:04:25,879 I'd rather cede control of the CIA to Pakistan 99 00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:28,600 than see Dan lead a campaign. 100 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:30,240 Should I be campaigning? 101 00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:31,920 Do you really have to ask me that? 102 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,680 I can't do the "be nice to people" because that's what Dan's doing. 103 00:04:34,759 --> 00:04:37,319 Also, 'cause I can't do it. 104 00:04:37,399 --> 00:04:39,639 Ben: Why don't you just invite us over for dinner? 105 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:41,680 - Did you get my text? - I got your text. 106 00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:44,639 - You didn't answer. - Oh, there is no answering that. 107 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,120 Crystal, come here. 108 00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:48,279 I need you to take this to this address. 109 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,759 Just leave it with the nurse. Fast as you can, but don't crash. 110 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,199 There he is, Mr. Media Master Mike. 111 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,360 - Mike, where have you been? - The bathroom. 112 00:04:55,439 --> 00:04:57,040 I hope you were focusing on me in there. 113 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,759 - Oh, no. I wasn't. - Excuse me? What? 114 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:02,920 - Sorry, I was in the bathroom. - You guys went there together? 115 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,759 I was actually thinking of something, 116 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:07,720 which is, how to squash the first story of your campaign. 117 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,360 - Which is what? - You started without a manager. 118 00:05:11,439 --> 00:05:14,040 Oh, possibly without a press guy, too. Right, Mike? 119 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,040 - Ma'am? - Yeah, I know. 120 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,639 ( sniffs ) 121 00:05:20,399 --> 00:05:23,360 - What the hell was that about? - Don't worry about it, buddy. 122 00:05:23,439 --> 00:05:26,000 You speak truth to power, Mr. Truth Power Talker. 123 00:05:26,079 --> 00:05:28,199 You know, Dan, watching you try to be nice 124 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:30,040 is like watching a baby smoke a cigarette-- 125 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:34,279 It's kind of cool, but also very disturbing. 126 00:05:37,399 --> 00:05:39,480 Thank you. 127 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,720 Let me guess-- you're ordering dessert first 128 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,000 - and then a main course. - What? Why? 129 00:05:44,079 --> 00:05:45,480 You put yourself up for nomination 130 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,360 before appointing a campaign manager. 131 00:05:47,439 --> 00:05:49,560 I just thought maybe you liked to do everything backwards. 132 00:05:49,639 --> 00:05:52,439 That was quite a long journey for that joke. 133 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,120 - I admire your stamina. - And I admire yours. 134 00:05:55,199 --> 00:05:57,240 Those polls can't be easy reading. 135 00:05:57,319 --> 00:05:59,920 You're 30 yards ahead when you should be three miles ahead. 136 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,879 Let me tell you something. Polls are notorious-- 137 00:06:01,959 --> 00:06:04,319 Let's look at why the press don't like you, and they don't. 138 00:06:04,399 --> 00:06:07,279 - The answer is Mike McClintock. - Well, that makes sense, yeah. 139 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,279 And then we have Dan. He's all eyelashes and teeth. 140 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,839 - He'd make a good croupier. - He would make a good croupier. 141 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,439 Never thought of that. He's very good at reading people, you know? 142 00:06:15,519 --> 00:06:18,319 Right, hitting on drunk divorcees, yeah. That's his level. 143 00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:22,839 So you are suggesting losing Dan and Mike? 144 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,319 - Amy would be-- - Does she know you're here? 145 00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:27,720 - No, of course not. - You should fire her for that. 146 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,600 I wouldn't let you within a mile of someone like me. 147 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,199 Fire her, now. 148 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,279 - I hadn't thought about-- - Then it's time you did. 149 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,920 - Bill? - Yes. 150 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,800 If we are gonna work together, 151 00:06:37,879 --> 00:06:39,639 you really do need to make an effort 152 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,560 not to interrupt me all the time 153 00:06:41,639 --> 00:06:44,480 - because I find that a little-- - Annoying? I get it. 154 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,800 - Zip. Out. Done. - Good. Thank you. 155 00:06:46,879 --> 00:06:51,279 You're talking about losing Dan and Mike and Amy? 156 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,240 - Plus Gary. - Oh, come on. 157 00:06:53,319 --> 00:06:56,040 You want him standing behind you for the next 8 years like an asshole? 158 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,720 Oh, but you know, he's my asshole. 159 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,560 - You need a better asshole. - All right, so, lose Gary... I guess. 160 00:07:00,639 --> 00:07:03,399 And then, what, I fire everyone? 161 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,079 Now what am I supposed to do? 162 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,680 I could maximize your chances of becoming 163 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,199 the most powerful person on Earth. 164 00:07:10,759 --> 00:07:12,560 Doctor: Turn your head as far as you can to the right. 165 00:07:12,639 --> 00:07:15,240 - And again. - ( gasps ) 166 00:07:15,319 --> 00:07:18,560 That's it? At work you're required to carry a heavy bag? 167 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,480 Yeah, that's one of my many responsibilities. 168 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,439 Is your bag integral to your job? What other duties do you have? 169 00:07:23,519 --> 00:07:25,439 That's classified information. 170 00:07:25,519 --> 00:07:27,079 Carry on like this, you're gonna need a new shoulder. 171 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,079 Is that an option? 'Cause I can do that. 172 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,959 - You need to get a new job. - Someone here needs a new job, 173 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,839 and it ain't me. ( chuckles ) 174 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,319 - Intern: I'm not sure if I understand-- - I don't want to explain it again. 175 00:07:40,399 --> 00:07:43,159 - Dan...? - No, too busy. Load faster, asshole. 176 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:46,079 Gary, get your arm out of my airspace before I shoot it down. 177 00:07:46,159 --> 00:07:48,639 Hello... top minds. 178 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,240 - Afternoon. - Ma'am. 179 00:07:50,319 --> 00:07:52,079 So, is there a Maddox update? 180 00:07:52,159 --> 00:07:55,240 - He gave Jonah a job. - ( gasps ) No way. 181 00:07:55,319 --> 00:07:56,720 Are you kidding me? That's the update? 182 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,680 - I know, right? - No. 183 00:07:58,759 --> 00:08:00,920 I'm talking about Maddox and me. 184 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,959 Jesus Christ! I'm 30 yards ahead of this guy. 185 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:08,800 I should be three miles ahead. I should be the "three-mile candidate." 186 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,879 It has negative connotations. There was a nuclear disaster there. 187 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,759 Yeah. Well, there might be one here too. 188 00:08:13,839 --> 00:08:15,759 George Maddox would like to meet this weekend. 189 00:08:15,839 --> 00:08:18,279 - Where? - He's invited you to his country house. 190 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,879 - For a murder mystery weekend? - I love the country. 191 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,720 Peeing in a bush, being talked to on a porch. 192 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,600 It's kind of like being a dog. 193 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,360 - We need to stop Maddox from running. - I know that, Ame. 194 00:08:27,439 --> 00:08:29,040 Offer something shiny, like State. 195 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,759 Mike, you're gonna come with me. 196 00:08:30,839 --> 00:08:32,600 - Me? - Yeah. 197 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,240 - Really? - Yeah. 198 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,558 I have really important stuff to do here, ma'am. 199 00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:40,759 Oh, I'm so sorry. Am I keeping you from anything? 200 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:45,240 Yeah, but... I guess I could do it in the country. 201 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,519 Ah... don't you have allergies, Mike? 202 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,120 Oh, I do actually have allergies. 203 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,200 You do know that this isn't a hobby? 204 00:08:53,279 --> 00:08:54,919 - Right? - What isn't a hobby? 205 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,480 - This job. - Oh. 206 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,039 - Of course I know that. - Yep. 207 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,279 ( mutters ) What in the living fuck? 208 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,480 - Ma'am, I could go. - I can't choose either of you guys 209 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:08,440 because it's gonna show campaign manager bias 210 00:09:08,519 --> 00:09:10,639 - and you'll freak out. - No, we could go with that. 211 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,519 Seriously? - Of course. 212 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,879 - All right, then. Dan, you're coming. - Perfect. Well, actually, 213 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,960 - I have a load of... - Laundry to do? 214 00:09:18,039 --> 00:09:19,960 - ...strategy docs to work on. - Good. 215 00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:22,039 - Falling behind there, Ames? - No, I'm keeping ahead. 216 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,200 Really? 'Cause, you know, I can do that on the run, so... 217 00:09:25,279 --> 00:09:28,320 ( sirens blaring ) 218 00:09:29,879 --> 00:09:32,240 People like Maddox always have guns on the walls 219 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,120 next to the animal heads. 220 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:37,360 It's like a flowchart for people who don't know what firearms do. 221 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,399 ( all chuckling ) 222 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,639 - Madam Vice President. - Oh, George. 223 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,679 - Come on in. - Thank you. Is Eleanor here? 224 00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,879 No she's not, thankfully. She's not a fan. 225 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:53,120 - Of political talk, I mean. - Oh, I see. Right. 226 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,919 These are just... in your face. 227 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,759 In a kind of fantastic way. 228 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,799 - Did you kill these? - No, they were pre-killed. 229 00:10:02,879 --> 00:10:04,679 Oh, right. ( laughs ) 230 00:10:04,759 --> 00:10:06,919 Jake, could you get their bags? 231 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,000 - Yes, sir. - Oh, hi, "Jake." 232 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,399 You're Maddox's bagman? 233 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,080 - That's quite a demotion. - I'm sorry? 234 00:10:15,159 --> 00:10:17,600 I have several responsibilities for Secretary Maddox. 235 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:19,840 And I think you'll find I'm quite the Renaissance man. 236 00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:22,120 Oh, well-- please, by all means, "Leonardo." 237 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,639 Yes. Chop-chop. 238 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,120 I want to thank you for agreeing to come fishing with me. 239 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,919 I can't wait to get out on the water. What kind of boat do you have? 240 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,720 I don't have a boat. 241 00:10:30,799 --> 00:10:33,519 Selina: This is the most lovely setting, isn't it? 242 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,600 It's a beautiful day. 243 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:37,840 - Okay, here, come on. - I got it. There. 244 00:10:37,919 --> 00:10:39,320 Wait. 245 00:10:39,399 --> 00:10:40,960 Oh, I'm sorry, George. Pardon me. 246 00:10:41,039 --> 00:10:43,240 That's fine. Get away from-- 247 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,120 - Gary, come on. - Gary: My God. 248 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,799 - ( bird chirping ) - Have you fished before? 249 00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:48,840 Um, uh, yeah. 250 00:10:48,919 --> 00:10:50,639 Yeah? 251 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,639 Oh. Ahem-- 252 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,639 That's a nice cast-- right out into the center of the water. 253 00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,480 Well, that's where I like to be-- 254 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,320 right in the center of the action. 255 00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,360 - You and me both. - ( Selina chuckles ) 256 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,360 What about Chung? You think he's gonna run, George? 257 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,960 - I hope not. - Yeah. 258 00:11:08,039 --> 00:11:10,360 We can't have a war tourist in the White House. 259 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,639 He talks the talk, but all he did in Iraq 260 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,919 was wait for the bombing to stop, then post Facebook photos of himself 261 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,639 sitting on a gold-plated bidet. 262 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,720 ( laughs ) 263 00:11:19,799 --> 00:11:22,480 That's a good stance, sir. Good solid base. 264 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:24,559 I'd hate to be a fish in your river. 265 00:11:24,639 --> 00:11:27,120 - Shut up. - Selina: George... 266 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,879 If I were in the Oval Office, 267 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,919 I could really use somebody like you in State. 268 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,120 If I was State, hypothetically-- 269 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,159 Ooh! Oh, look at that! 270 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:38,919 - Wow, that is heavy! - Reel him in. 271 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,600 ( squeals ) Look at that! Look how big that thing is! 272 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:45,919 - Whoa! Oh, no! Where'd he go? - How exciting. 273 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,639 - Did you lose him? - He got away. 274 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,320 You fucking idiot. 275 00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:52,840 Mike: This is so nice of you, Amy. 276 00:11:52,919 --> 00:11:55,320 Oh, there was a seating plan. 277 00:11:55,399 --> 00:11:57,840 But it is absolutely fine. 278 00:11:57,919 --> 00:11:59,879 I'm going to top up some wine. 279 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,679 - You have-- you need some-- - Actually, I don't-- no, no. 280 00:12:01,759 --> 00:12:04,480 - ( all groan ) - It's okay. 281 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,840 - No. Don't rub it, Mike. - I'm making it worse. 282 00:12:06,919 --> 00:12:10,919 - I was gonna get a new rug, so... - I could take a dump on it. 283 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,480 Kent: Ooh, thank you, Ben. 284 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:14,480 This is great wine, Amy. 285 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,080 A lot better than I anticipated. 286 00:12:16,159 --> 00:12:18,799 And she has got a real nose for wine. 287 00:12:18,879 --> 00:12:20,399 You remember that soiree at the French embassy, 288 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,879 where you were identifying the year by the smell? 289 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,360 I also do that with my men. 290 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,919 The only thing about you that doesn't surprise me 291 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,960 is your capacity to surprise me. 292 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:31,720 So good to see everybody. I'm gonna check on the food. 293 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,759 What's the delay? I have mammals in there who need to eat food. 294 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,360 Is this ready? What is it? 295 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,000 - Potatoes. - I can see that. 296 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,799 - Potatoes a la what? - Just potatoes. 297 00:12:40,879 --> 00:12:44,840 - You don't eat them by themselves. - I've eaten hummus with a pen cap. 298 00:12:44,919 --> 00:12:48,399 So we can make a start with this. 299 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,799 - That is an ark of potato. - "S.S. Starch." 300 00:12:51,879 --> 00:12:53,879 So, Amy, when are you going to ask us 301 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,720 to support you as campaign manager? 302 00:12:55,799 --> 00:12:57,960 I guess I don't have to now. 303 00:12:58,039 --> 00:13:00,399 But anyone who talks about work tonight has to take a drink. 304 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,039 - Work. - Ben jumped on that. 305 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,559 - Amy: We're off. - ( alarm jingles ) 306 00:13:03,639 --> 00:13:06,799 - Where's your bathroom? - It's second on the left. 307 00:13:06,879 --> 00:13:10,120 Thank you. Thank you so much. 308 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,720 Whew. 309 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:17,360 - You look gorgeous! - Do you think that I'm ruthless... 310 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,039 - No. - ...enough? 311 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,600 - Oh, enough? - Yeah. 312 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:22,879 I think you have just the right amount of... 313 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,600 - grit in your oyster. - Huh? 314 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,080 - Hmm? - No, I mean, 315 00:13:26,159 --> 00:13:29,320 can I be a complete fucking bitch? 316 00:13:29,399 --> 00:13:31,480 Please don't talk about yourself that way. 317 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:34,080 You know how sometimes you have a friend, 318 00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:36,240 but they weren't up to their job? 319 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,720 My shoulder is fine, ma'am. 320 00:13:37,799 --> 00:13:39,320 Oh, no, no. I'm not talking about you. 321 00:13:39,399 --> 00:13:42,120 It doesn't look like your shoulder's fine. 322 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,720 ( stammers ) It's almost perfect-- 323 00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:47,759 If that became some sort of permanent disability-- 324 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,240 Mike's masturbating at work. 325 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,519 - What? - I caught him doing it. 326 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,159 - No. - Him and Wendy are doing IVF, 327 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,000 and I caught him coming out of the bathroom stall with a bag. 328 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,919 Ugh! 329 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,559 Oh, my God! Give me my phone. 330 00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:03,679 - Why? - I've got to be in touch with Ben. 331 00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,879 I can't have Mike getting "what's-her-ass" 332 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,159 all knocked up and pregnant, 333 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,799 becoming a dad during my campaign. 334 00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:11,399 What is keeping Mike? Mike? 335 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,440 - I'm here. Sorry. Sorry. - ( ringtone chimes ) 336 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,840 - Kent: Join the party, Mike. - This food looks amazing. 337 00:14:16,919 --> 00:14:18,759 Amy: It should be. It cost enough. 338 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:23,360 Hey, Mike, this salad doesn't have any dressing. 339 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,039 Did you bring any extra dressing? 340 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,559 What are you talking about, Ben? 341 00:14:27,639 --> 00:14:30,759 I hear the next course is gonna be pulled pork-- 342 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,039 pork that has been pulled. 343 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,440 So everybody knows that I was in there 344 00:14:35,519 --> 00:14:38,120 masturbating into a cup now? 345 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,440 - No, I was the only one, Mike. - We all know now. 346 00:14:40,519 --> 00:14:43,840 I really hope that's IVF or something, Mike, 347 00:14:43,919 --> 00:14:46,039 - because otherwise... - It is. 348 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,200 Wendy and I are trying to conceive a child. 349 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,799 Good luck with that. That can be a tough road. 350 00:14:51,879 --> 00:14:55,480 - Mike: I know. - I have a sister who was-- 351 00:14:55,559 --> 00:14:57,480 well, she didn't have the-- 352 00:14:57,559 --> 00:14:59,279 it kind of all went wrong within the tubing-- 353 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,639 - Stop talking. - Copy that. 354 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,960 - Talk about something else. - Amy: Before we eat, 355 00:15:04,039 --> 00:15:08,080 may I just say how much I value all of you. 356 00:15:08,159 --> 00:15:11,320 Thank you for your skills and for your friendship. 357 00:15:11,399 --> 00:15:13,200 - Kent: Hear, hear. - All: To skills. 358 00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:15,399 - ( glasses ring ) - And friendship. 359 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,759 What if we don't have anything to talk about but work? 360 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,000 Oop-- "work." 361 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,120 We have plenty of other stuff to say. 362 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:40,960 Amy, did I hear you talking about Maddox hiring Jonah, 363 00:15:41,039 --> 00:15:43,039 or was that a horrible nightmare I had? 364 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,679 Why would Maddox hire him? 365 00:15:44,759 --> 00:15:47,080 - Because of his uncle. - Why? Who's his uncle? 366 00:15:47,159 --> 00:15:50,240 - Jeff Kane. - Jeff Kane, the New Hampshire guy? 367 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:51,799 - Yeah. - The Jeff Kane 368 00:15:51,879 --> 00:15:53,799 who controls the senior citizen vote in New Hampshire? 369 00:15:53,879 --> 00:15:55,480 How else he got the job in the White House? 370 00:15:55,559 --> 00:15:57,360 She's at Maddox's right now. I have to call her. 371 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,279 Maddox's camp will give you nothing. 372 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,279 - Maddox has access to-- - Yeah, I know that. 373 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,039 I know that, and that's why I'm gonna call. 374 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,519 You know what's gonna help, everybody? If you just go. 375 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,039 I don't mean to be rude, but dinner has got to be over. 376 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,639 Please, all, do support Amy as Selina's campaign manager. 377 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,279 Please do. Yay me. Yay me. 378 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,519 - Anybody wanna get a burger? - Don't forget your bag, Mike. 379 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,080 It seems more appropriate now that it's just the two of us. 380 00:16:20,159 --> 00:16:22,879 - No. You have to go too. - Amy, it's our anniversary. 381 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,840 Oh, please do not tell me 382 00:16:24,919 --> 00:16:26,879 you are one of those fucking weirdos 383 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,879 that celebrates three month-a-versaries. 384 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,759 - It's actually a year. - A year in which... 385 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,240 you neglected to tell me about Jeff Kane. Go. 386 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,600 I guess I'll go tell the violinist he has the night off. 387 00:16:36,679 --> 00:16:39,759 I'll have him play me a bunch of Smiths covers in my car. 388 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,679 - Ma'am-- you gotta go. - Selina: Hey, what's up? 389 00:16:42,759 --> 00:16:45,559 - Jeff Kane. - The New Hampshire guy? 390 00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:48,480 - He's Jonah's uncle. - Shit. 391 00:16:48,559 --> 00:16:52,279 - Dan, Gary: What? - Jeff Kane is Jonah's uncle? 392 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,279 Oh, no! 393 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,840 Tell Dan he needs to find Jonah now and poach him. 394 00:16:56,919 --> 00:16:58,399 Okay. We're all over this. 395 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,320 It's obvious how he got the job with Maddox. 396 00:17:01,399 --> 00:17:03,919 No one would be so stupid to hire him otherwise. 397 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,440 - ( stammers ) - So, we're all set? 398 00:17:05,519 --> 00:17:09,000 - Yeah. - Oh, sir, where is Jonah? 399 00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:12,000 - Who? - The tall fellow. 400 00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:14,839 The bag of bones guy? He's in your entourage. 401 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,000 Haven't we got more important things to talk about? 402 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,640 We do, George. We certainly do. 403 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,358 - Right this way. - Thank you so much. 404 00:17:23,118 --> 00:17:25,799 Hey, buddy. How's it going? 405 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,640 Why the fuck do you care? 406 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,559 - Why shouldn't I care? - Because you hate me. 407 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,799 There's a fine line, Jonah, 408 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,680 between hate and non-hate. 409 00:17:34,759 --> 00:17:36,400 You attacked me with a burrito. 410 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,319 And if I could turn back the hands of time, I would. 411 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,000 - Oh, so you could do it again? - No. 412 00:17:41,079 --> 00:17:43,559 The juice could have gotten in my eyes, Dan. 413 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,119 The spicy burrito juice. 414 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,079 I think you and I have a lot in common, actually. 415 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,279 - We do? - Yeah. We say it like it is. 416 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:51,799 So if I did want to run, 417 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,319 why would I just step aside for you? 418 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,119 ( chuckles ) See, that's what I'm talking about. 419 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,960 - Why wouldn't you? - No-- why would I? 420 00:17:58,039 --> 00:18:02,039 Well, I believe that I've earned this, George. 421 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,559 I also believe that the position of vice president 422 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,200 can be a very rewarding one. 423 00:18:07,279 --> 00:18:10,079 - Even though it has no power? - It has some constitutional power, 424 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:14,000 and, by the way, I think I can pull some pretty big levers. 425 00:18:14,079 --> 00:18:16,559 You exercise this power very discreetly, I must say. 426 00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:20,279 Maddox? Come on, man. 427 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,039 That guy's got ulterior motives, you know it. 428 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:23,640 What do you mean "ulterior motives"? 429 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,759 I just think he's keeping you around-- 430 00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,920 - Because? - Because of your uncle, Jeff Kane. 431 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,440 - Fuck you, Dan. - I just offered you a job. 432 00:18:30,519 --> 00:18:32,720 People like me, people hire me, people date me, 433 00:18:32,799 --> 00:18:35,799 and people fuck me because I'm triple-A fuckin' awesome 434 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,680 - and no other reason. - Sure. 435 00:18:37,759 --> 00:18:40,359 Why don't you scooch your little butt out of my fuckin' pantry? 436 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,519 You know what? The only reason you have a fuckin' job 437 00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:45,400 is because your uncle is "Donald Chump." 438 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,799 Wake up and smell the fuckin' burrito juice. 439 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,880 You know what? Selina's gonna lose 440 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,599 and President Maddox is gonna have you both executed! 441 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,319 That's not even the way it works, you fuckin' idiot. 442 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,759 Oh, yeah? Maybe you're a fuckin' idiot. 443 00:18:56,839 --> 00:18:59,559 So I think we both agree that the strongest candidate should run. 444 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,160 Absolutely. 445 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,759 And that the role of vice president 446 00:19:02,839 --> 00:19:04,880 can be a very significant one. 447 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,480 You've certainly made a compelling argument. 448 00:19:06,559 --> 00:19:08,680 - You'd consider that? - Absolutely. 449 00:19:08,759 --> 00:19:11,200 - You'd be my vice president. - You could be my vice president. 450 00:19:11,279 --> 00:19:12,680 What did you just say? 451 00:19:12,759 --> 00:19:15,720 It makes sense for me-- you're already vetted. 452 00:19:15,799 --> 00:19:17,680 Are you kidding me? 453 00:19:17,759 --> 00:19:19,480 Plus you would be the first vice president 454 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,920 to serve under two successive presidents. 455 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,759 I'd rather be shot in the fucking face 456 00:19:24,839 --> 00:19:27,200 than serve as vice president again. 457 00:19:27,279 --> 00:19:29,000 Seriously, in the fucking face! 458 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,599 - Hey, how'd it go? - Uh-uh. 459 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,559 ( sighs ) Oh, God. - How'd it go? 460 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,000 ( moans ) 461 00:19:40,599 --> 00:19:42,799 Dan: All right, guys, listen. Maddox is running, okay? 462 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,599 So I need you to access the strategy file in Dropbox. 463 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,960 Password-- "mother_fucker." 464 00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:50,200 So our next move is to stop Chung from running. 465 00:19:50,279 --> 00:19:53,640 Two ex-military candidates are gonna squeeze you out. 466 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,000 The subtext of every question will be, 467 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,440 "Pretty, but can she break necks?" - Let me explain something to you. 468 00:19:57,519 --> 00:19:59,720 You had me go marching off to the country 469 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,279 to try and keep Maddox from running, 470 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:04,599 and then today, he announced he's running, right? 471 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,440 What's in your lunchbox, Mike? 472 00:20:07,519 --> 00:20:10,640 A protein shake? You degenerate. 473 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,920 You know about the private thing I wanted kept private? 474 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,839 Mike, it would please me greatly 475 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,319 if you would do me the honor 476 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,440 of removing your jizzbox 477 00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:22,920 from our executive branch of government. 478 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,119 - It's actually a cooler. - Oh, then, by all means. 479 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,720 Open it up, let's have a picnic. I'll boil up my eggs. 480 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,000 So, listen. I'm gonna get rid of the team-- the whole bunch. 481 00:20:34,079 --> 00:20:36,640 Desperate Dan, flailing Amy, crippled Gary, jizzy Mike. 482 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,599 - "Jizzy Mike"? - He jerks off in the office. 483 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,480 - Really? He does that? - Yeah. You have no idea. 484 00:20:44,559 --> 00:20:46,200 Anyway, I'm going to get rid of 'em. 485 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,480 I'm gonna shoot Mike and Gary in the head, 486 00:20:48,559 --> 00:20:50,039 I'll poison Amy, I'll behead Dan. 487 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,799 - Ma'am. - Oh, shit. What are you doing here? 488 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,599 Er, look-- I'm so sorry to interrupt, 489 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,759 but I have some inside Maddox polling data... 490 00:20:58,839 --> 00:21:02,799 - How did you find me? - I put a lot of pressure on Sue. 491 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,680 So, she's gonna have to go too. 492 00:21:05,759 --> 00:21:07,599 Wait. What do you mean, too? 493 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,119 Yeah, uh, Dan, listen-- 494 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,559 Bill is going to be our new campaign manager-- 495 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,400 - I'm flattered, but the answer's no. - I'm sorry. What? 496 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,279 I hate to say I got a better offer, but I got a better offer. 497 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,279 Is it Danny Chung? That desperate dick 498 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,319 covered in medals that he got on eBay, by the way. 499 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,799 - Not Chung. It's Thornhill. - What? 500 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:29,200 "Baseball Joe"? The man's a vegetable. Seriously. 501 00:21:29,279 --> 00:21:30,960 - So he can catch a ball. - He can win. 502 00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,000 He did it on the field when nobody thought he had a chance. 503 00:21:33,079 --> 00:21:34,640 People love his story, they love his attitude. 504 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,559 I don't love your attitude. So why don't you go and-- 505 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,200 - With all due respect-- - You stop interrupting me, 506 00:21:40,279 --> 00:21:42,880 you stupid fucking interrupty guy. 507 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,839 - I'm sorry. - I am un-offering you the job. 508 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,519 You will never be my campaign manager, ever! 509 00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:51,480 It was a pleasure to meet you, ma'am. - You bet it was. 510 00:21:51,559 --> 00:21:53,440 It was a huge pleasure to meet me. 511 00:21:53,519 --> 00:21:55,240 You know we're going to rip you apart. 512 00:21:55,319 --> 00:21:57,640 Oh, so scary! 513 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,559 Dan... 514 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,200 Do you want to be my campaign manager? 515 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,599 - Yes. - Yeah. 516 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,559 - Yes, I do. - Okay. 517 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,680 Yeah! Whew. 518 00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:26,559 Ma'am, you-- I am not going to let you down. You will not regret this. 519 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,039 - Okay. - Yeah. 520 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:31,319 - Okay. - Yeah! Mm! 521 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:32,839 Gary: This is amazing. 522 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,480 I feel all floaty. What's this one called? 523 00:22:34,559 --> 00:22:36,640 - It's a boilermaker. - A boilermaker! 524 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,200 ( laughs ) 525 00:22:38,279 --> 00:22:41,039 - You never had one? - Mm-mm. I'm a Prosecco man. 526 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,559 - I wouldn't spread that around. - Did you know I got a condition? 527 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:45,440 - You can't hold your alcohol? - No, it's my shoulder. 528 00:22:45,519 --> 00:22:47,200 - I'm in a lot of pain. - Join the club, pal. 529 00:22:47,279 --> 00:22:48,880 No, but I carry around 530 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,519 Selina's big, heavy bag of her tampon bullshit. 531 00:22:51,599 --> 00:22:53,319 ( laughs ) 532 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,839 - I'm serious. - Mike. 533 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,960 The doctor told me to get another job. 534 00:22:58,039 --> 00:23:00,160 No. You need to get another doctor. - Thank you. 535 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,079 Did he give you a cortisone shot? 536 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,400 - No! No! - See? 537 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,319 Mr. Bartender! 538 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,400 A cortisone shot! ( laughs ) 539 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:10,680 Tequila. 540 00:23:10,759 --> 00:23:13,039 Tequila-aa-- oh--! 541 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,559 Is the bar the appropriate place for the contents of that bag? 542 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,960 Relax, Amy. It's a spoiled batch. 543 00:23:19,039 --> 00:23:21,920 I missed my window today at the clinic and Wendy is not happy. 544 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:26,000 - Hey, Mr. Kent! - Hey, kids. Everybody well oiled? 545 00:23:26,079 --> 00:23:30,799 I called you all to my office because there may be some changes. 546 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,640 She got a campaign manager, didn't she? 547 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,640 Please tell me that it's not Dan. 548 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,400 - It's not Dan. - Thank you, God! 549 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,079 Fuck you, Dan, you minor-league gigolo! 550 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,839 Dan: Just out of curiosity What was Ericsson's pitch? 551 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:49,119 He said that you'd be better off as a croupier fucking older women. 552 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,920 That doesn't bother me. 553 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,599 I like older women. 554 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,480 I do. They have life experience. 555 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,519 - They do. - Not just the sexy stuff. 556 00:23:57,599 --> 00:23:59,680 Mm. 557 00:23:59,759 --> 00:24:02,240 Well, they've got that too, I can tell you that. 558 00:24:04,079 --> 00:24:05,880 Actually, it's been a while 559 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,799 - since I've been with an older woman. - Oh... 560 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,319 Ahem. 561 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,559 ( sighs ) 562 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,480 - Oh, here, I gotcha. - Thank you very much. 563 00:24:14,559 --> 00:24:16,440 Sure. 564 00:24:17,519 --> 00:24:21,680 This is gonna be a very intimate relationship. 565 00:24:21,759 --> 00:24:23,720 - And I've gotta get in there. - Yeah? 566 00:24:23,799 --> 00:24:26,880 You have to tell me stuff that even Gary doesn't know. 567 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,799 Oh, wow. I can't even think, seriously. What about you? 568 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,720 Do you have any skeletons? 569 00:24:32,799 --> 00:24:35,319 - Yeah. - Okay. Here we go. 570 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,799 Yeah, I've got one. When I was a kid... 571 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,160 - Yeah? - A bunch of older kids... 572 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,200 dared me... 573 00:24:43,279 --> 00:24:45,480 to kill this stray dog. And I did. 574 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,400 - Really? - Yeah. 575 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,960 - You killed a dog? - Yeah. 576 00:24:53,039 --> 00:24:54,880 Shit. 577 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,039 Okay, now, your turn. You go. 578 00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,000 ( stammers ) Uh-- 579 00:24:59,079 --> 00:25:01,240 - Just let fly. - Okay. Well... 580 00:25:03,279 --> 00:25:06,160 - right before Andrew and I split up... 581 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,279 I don't know if you remember, but his car caught fire. 582 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:09,799 Yeah. 583 00:25:12,759 --> 00:25:14,319 - You...? - I did it. Yeah, I did it. 584 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,920 I torch cars, you know-- 585 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,160 give me the nuclear codes. 586 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,400 ( chuckles ) 587 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,960 Wow. 588 00:25:22,039 --> 00:25:23,960 I guess I can sit on that for eight years. 589 00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:29,480 There's probably going to be some shake-ups... 590 00:25:29,559 --> 00:25:32,400 - ( ringtone beeps ) - Oh, sorry, Amy. 591 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,799 - What the...? - Fuck, Dan? 592 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,480 ( phone clatters ) 593 00:25:36,559 --> 00:25:39,799 - She was talking to Ericsson. - I invited you guys to dinner. 594 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,920 - Yeah, then you kicked us out. - Sir, I would like one of these, 595 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,519 and after that, I want one of these. 596 00:25:45,599 --> 00:25:47,759 And then after that, I would like one of these. 597 00:25:47,839 --> 00:25:50,279 ( all cheering ) 598 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,480 Why Dan when he couldn't even poach Jonah from Maddox? 599 00:25:53,559 --> 00:25:55,279 One thing that will push me over the edge right now 600 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:57,079 is if you mention Jonah's name. 601 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,720 He could stumble in here. He lives around the corner. 602 00:25:59,799 --> 00:26:01,559 - He won't come in here. - Mike, I got an idea. 603 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,000 We should throw your expired cum at Jonah's door. 604 00:26:04,079 --> 00:26:05,799 - ( Gary laughs ) - You're kidding. 605 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,920 I'm not. Let's throw his cum at Jonah's door. 606 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,839 ( laughing ) Yeah! 607 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,920 Let's throw cum! Let's throw cum! 608 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,119 Let's throw cum! Let's throw cum! 609 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,400 Amy, no, no-- that's my DNA! 610 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,960 I would like to see that, but we'll stay. 611 00:26:21,039 --> 00:26:23,160 All right, I'm out of here. 612 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,920 How did you kill it? 613 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,599 - Sorry, what? - Nothing. It's fine. 614 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,480 - We're good? - Yeah. 615 00:26:31,559 --> 00:26:34,039 - All right. - ( door closes ) 616 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,359 Mike: Had a romantic dinner-- champagne, oysters, 617 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,160 then Wendy finished me off in a cup. It was beautiful. 618 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,759 Ben: Sounds pretty good, except for the oysters. 619 00:26:44,839 --> 00:26:48,119 Shh. We do this like a contract killing, all right? 620 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,440 ( knocking ) 621 00:26:50,519 --> 00:26:53,839 - Hurry up. Just get it out. - Hey, guys.