[Lucifer whistling tune]
[elevator dings]
Hello, ladies.
Lady, singular.
-Where's your mother? -I'm staying at my dad's tonight.
But it's game night.
The Detective always comes to game night.
Came to game night. Maybe that's why she never texts me back.
-Parents... They're a mystery. -Oh, well, I'll give you that.
[sighs] She didn't happen to mention anything about being a gift,
did she? From God?
'Cause if that's the stumbling block,
it's really much less of an issue than she thinks.
Grown-up problems. Not interested.
Also, who cares where my mom is?
Well, me, for one.
It's game night and Trixie's in the house.
Well... I suppose we could play Monopoly.
Nah. Monopoly's no fun with just two people.
Well, fine. You've twisted my arm
since it may very well be my last night on Earth.
Let's go to the bar.
My parents wouldn't like that.
Wouldn't they? Sounds like grown-up problems to me.
You could tell me a story.
-Do I look like Mr. Rogers? -You don't have to make anything up.
You could just tell me about...
-this dagger. Has it ever killed anyone? -Not yet, no.
-Do these work? -Um... Depends on who you're asking.
Well, what about this?
What, the manicure? It's just a simple buff and shine.
Your ring. Tell me the story of your ring.
Unless you'd rather talk about the handcuffs.
Quite the negotiator, aren't we?
Very well.
For one night only.
It's story time at the penthouse.
[clears throat] Mmm. What...
My mom usually starts with "Once upon a time."
Does she?
All right, well...
[grunts]
Once upon a time...
the Devil went to New York City.
The year...
was 1946.
[big band music playing]
-[indistinct chatter] -[policeman blows whistle]
[Lucifer] It was a wonderful time. Men wore hats.
Hemlines were on the rise... and so was crime.
Rationing was over, the boys were home from the war,
and the air was full of big band music and possibility.
An old friend had reached out,
asking me to meet her for a drink at the Garden Club.
[big band music playing]
[people chattering]
[Lucifer] Now, the Garden Club was the hottest spot
on the isle of Manhattan
because it had the best chanteuse on the marquee.
The whole city knew her voice,
but I was the only one who knew her real name. Lilith.
-[Trixie] Wait, who's Lilith? -[Lucifer] Maze's mother.
Her spitting image,
though neither of them would ever admit it.
[singing] I'm tired of being pure
And not
Chased!
[audience cheering]
Like something that seeks its level
I wanna go to the devil
That's me.
I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks
I wanna be evil and cheat at jacks
I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies
I wanna be mean and throw mud pies
And in the theater
I want to change my seat
Just so I can step on everybody's feet
I wanna be evil
I wanna hurt flies
I wanna sing songs Like the guy who cries
I wanna be horrid I wanna drink booze
And whatever I've got
I'm eager to lose
I wanna be evil
[audience cheering]
Little evil me
Just as mean and evil
As I
Can be
[audience cheering]
Meow.
-[woman] Such a talent! -[man] Yes.
What the hell do you think you're doing, laddie?
I'm just going to speak with my friend.
You shouldn't be eyeballing Lily Rose like that.
-She's Stompanato's girl. -[Lilith] Put it in neutral, boys.
Trust me. That's a fight you don't want to pick.
[chuckles]
Why don't you fellows go jerk yourselves a soda?
Oh, and...
And tell Tommy...
I'm nobody's girl.
[Lucifer] So...
How long has it been?
I don't believe I've seen you since--
[Lilith] Marie-Antoinette's coming-out party.
-[both laugh] -And come out she did.
Shame what happened to her.
So what've you been up to the past few hundred years?
Oh, singing, carousing.
Raising hell one gin joint at a time.
-[laughs] -Everything was copacetic
until someone stole my ring.
Oh, well, that is unfortunate.
How about we cheer you up with a healthy distraction, hmm?
We could rent out a brothel, rob a bank...
Oh. Ernie Hemingway is in town. He's always good for a laugh.
Oh, and I'm not sure you can go out in that.
Lucifer, that ring is the only thing in the entire universe
that means anything to me.
I'm going to get it back.
And you... are gonna help me.
[chuckles] And why would I do that?
Because you owe me.
Right. That.
The Devil solving crime.
It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
[theme music playing]
[Lucifer] Seeing as this was long before my police consultant days,
I needed help, professional help.
Jack was a tough guy I knew from back when.
Bit of a hot mess since the war, but when it came to solving crimes,
he was the best in the business.
[Trixie] Hang on.
Why does the investigator have to be a boy?
My mom solves crimes all the time.
Fine.
As I was saying...
Well, if it ain't Lucifer Morningstar.
What can I do you for?
I need to locate a rare and extremely valuable
piece of stolen jewelry.
This ring...
to be precise.
Wait. Stop the story.
You're supposed to be telling me about your ring.
Your ring is black.
Do you want to hear the story or not?
Because I'd be perfectly happy at the bar.
Okay, okay. Please, continue.
Oh, thank you.
So...
And why would I stick my nose in?
[coughs]
All right, I'm listening.
Where'd you last see the ring?
[people laughing]
All right, listen. This is a pretty rough joint.
Trouble comes a-knockin', best stay behind me.
Oh, don't worry. I've seen my fair share of trouble.
Hmm! Oh, yeah? How many Nazis you take out lately?
At ease, soldier.
If fisticuffs ensue, I promise to let you have all the fun.
[sighs]
So...
Which one of these ne'er-do-wells should we interview first?
Same person everyone talks to.
[cash register dings]
[bartender] Be with you in two shakes.
What's your poison?
Gin? Tequila?
We're, uh, looking for information on Lily Rose's ring.
You know who nabbed it?
Word on the street...
is folks say a newcomer was seen lurking around
Lily's dressing room the night the ring disappeared.
Sticky-fingered gent by the name of Lucky Larry.
-Oh. -Oh. You get a description?
[sighs]
Sure, sure. Handsome. Kind of beefy.
Short-haired, strong jaw.
Usually wears a plain, blue suit. Oh...
and an eye patch.
Well, you might have led with that.
All right.
[softly] Hey.
See that fella?
That's the face of a rat just dying to squeal.
You sit tight.
I'm gonna go lend him an ear.
Oh. Lovely.
Just what the doctor ordered.
Jack Monroe, PI.
You got any information on a Lucky Larry?
Seen him around.
Handsome, beefy, strong jaw.
-Eye patch? -That's the guy! [bangs table]
Listen.
I don't want any trouble, but if you meet me out back in five,
I might be able to get you the skinny.
All right.
[Lucifer] Well...
It appears our rat turned tail and ran.
Yeah. He'll show.
So? What did you wanna tell me?
That you should watch your back. [laughs]
[Jack] Oh!
-Ow! -[Lucifer] You again.
Oh, dear. Are you certain you don't want me to get involved?
It feels a little unsporting just standing here.
-[grunts] - I take it back.
-[whistling shriek] -[dogs barking]
[gun clicks]
-[clattering] -[cat yowls]
Warmed 'em up for you, Mr. Stompanato.
Thanks, boys.
-Wait! Hold it. -Oh, for crying out loud.
I thought you said, "Mr. Stompanato."
Mister is a man.
Did you or did you not request a gender-balanced narrative?
I'm simply following your instructions.
Perhaps you're wondering
why I gathered you here this fine evening.
Thing is...
I don't like folks asking questions in my club.
Sticking noses where they don't belong.
So...
if you could refrain...
Oh, I would deeply appreciate it.
Because next time...
I won't be so nice.
That means you're gonna die.
[ominous music]
[thugs laugh]
And you...
You're lucky you're a friend of Lily's.
But don't get too friendly.
Enjoy your evening.
Let's go, boys.
[sighs]
Yeah, thanks for having my six back there.
You told me to stay behind you.
Which wasn't easy, considering you spent so much time on the pavement.
[chuckles softly]
So, what now?
Well, we'll check out Lucky Larry's usual haunts in the morning.
You know, petty thieves are like bad pennies.
Sooner or later, they always turn up.
Well, then,
I am off to trip the light fantastic
with your city's best and brightest. [chuckles]
I assume you have plans of your own.
What can I say? Life's one big party.
[door closes]
[Lucifer] Little did I know, Jack and his wife, Shirley,
-were going through a rough patch. -[Shirley] How are the potatoes?
I made them with cream... just like you like.
Um...
What happened with your eye?
Nothing.
Jack, I know you're still sore with me, but you can't just--
Excuse me. I lost my appetite.
[knocking on door]
God forbid a man gets a moment's peace around here.
[sighs heavily]
Lucky Larry?
-[groans] -[screams]
[camera shutter clicks]
Give me that name again.
I have to say, that dress is a lovely color on you.
What say we leave the dishes
and take it for a spin at the Copacabana?
Oh, that's sweet of you, Mr. Morningstar, but...
- I already have my dance partner. -Oh.
At least I thought I did.
All right, thanks.
If you know what's good for you, you stay the hell away from my wife.
Well, I didn't think you'd mind,
considering you haven't said two words to her since I arrived.
[Jack] I just got off the horn with my informant.
Apparently, Lucky Larry got into it
with someone down at the docks yesterday.
A, uh, bratwurst heir by the name of William Kincannon.
Folks call him, Willy "The Sausage Prince."
Sounds like an upstanding fellow.
Yeah, well, I'll bust his chops in the morning.
Jack. Where are you going?
[Jack] I, um...
I think it's gonna be an early morning and, uh...
I'll just...
sleep at the office.
So, what did the missus do to get your trousers in such a twist?
Cheat on you?
Kick your dog? Ruin your favorite shirt?
None of the above.
Couple of weeks back, I...
went out with...
some of my army pals and, uh...
[breathes deeply]
...a few drinks in, the captain says to me...
"You and Shirley were the best 20 bucks I ever spent.”
Well, I thought it was fate that brought Shirley and I together
in the public library that day.
All along, it was...
just about money.
-Shirley was a call girl. -Yeah.
That's right. And rousting me
out of my shell shock was her final trick.
Well...
aren't you lucky?
To benefit from the experience
your wife has gained with dozens, maybe hundreds, of men.
Firemen, barbers, sailors, carnival barkers, butchers--
Yeah, I get it.
If it bothers you so much, why not just up stakes and leave?
Well, 'cause I love her.
And, uh, she says she loves me.
So when you find out the best thing that ever happened to you
started with a lie, well, it's like building a house on quicksand.
Sooner or later, it all falls apart.
Sorry. Got lost in a daydream
on account of your problem being so extraordinarily boring.
Have you considered forgetting about it?
"Have I considered forgetting about it"?
-Is that your advice? [laughs] -Well, in my experience,
problems are like... bible salesmen or genital warts.
If you pretend they're not there, sooner or later, they disappear.
[Willy] Can you not paint the sword first?
It's ridiculously heavy.
-Perhaps you'd like a break, sir. -Ugh.
Yeah.
Why don't ya...
take a load off, Willy?
Who the hell are you?
-Jack Monroe, Pl. -Lucifer Morningstar, Devil.
-Carmina! -[sword clatters]
Tea.
Oh, my dear friend Sigmund would have had a field day with you.
[chuckles] Where's the ring?
-The what? -Never mind. I'll find it myself.
What are you doing?
What is he doing? What, what is he doing?
Can you please tell me what he's doing?
Hey. I wouldn't worry about that.
What I would worry about is we heard
you had a pretty heated exchange down at the docks yesterday.
Guy named Lucky Larry.
So?
So, Lucky Larry stole my friend's ring and then wound up dead.
Stabbed in the back. Some sort of fancy knife.
[laughing] Wait. You think I killed him?
I would never.
I mean, I could if I had to, but I didn't.
And I don't know anything about a ring.
Does anyone know about your whereabouts last night?
[Willy] Yes.
My portraitist.
I was posing as Hannibal crossing the Alps
until almost midnight.
The overtime fees for a rental elephant are unconscionable.
How do you know Lucky Larry, exactly?
[grunts]
[groaning]
[Willy] From time to time...
I purchase a trinket or two from Lawrence.
How they come into his possession, I do not ask.
I collect objets de guerre.
If he has something that I enjoy, he calls me.
I just love war. Don't you?
Sure.
5th Infantry. Battle of the Bulge.
And now,
where exactly did you serve?
I would've but... [inhales sharply] asthma.
That's why I was so upset when Lucky Larry
insisted that we have our meeting up on the docks.
There was dirt everywhere.
And I am almost certain I stepped in feces.
You know, I'm beginning to think that Willy here
doesn't have the brains to have nicked Lily's ring.
-[Willy chortles] -No kidding.
Where do you and Larry meet normally?
[Willy] At his apartment. It's not much cleaner than the docks.
And, yes, I will have Carmina write down the address for you.
[softly] Thanks.
-Quite a unique fellow, aren't you? -[Willy] Mmm.
There's a word to describe you, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
It's like a shower, but French.
Ah. I'm sure it'll come to me.
[Willy] Hmm. Mmm.
Private dick track down that ring of yours?
Hardly. Her best lead just turned up dead.
[sighs]
Sounds like that ring meant a lot to you.
[Jazz playing on piano]
I was married...
a long time ago.
Guy named Adam.
Things weren't great between us.
Even worse between me and his father.
-I'm sorry. -Don't be.
By the time they sent me away, it was almost a relief.
I took one little piece of that garden on the way out.
The stone that was in my ring.
I didn't like much of anything about my life back then.
But I sure did love that garden.
Anyway...
The ring reminds me that I don't need Adam or his family.
That I don't need anybody.
-Oh, Lily. -You're married, right?
Yeah.
To my high school sweetheart, Bill.
We got hitched just before he enlisted.
-Mmm. -Wrote each other every day.
Until he got wounded in Guadalcanal.
But he made it out. All the way to the VA upstate.
But the doctors, they can't...
We've known each other all our lives.
I just can't believe...
I might lose him.
Guess I'm lucky I never got attached to anybody that way.
Don't you say that!
Every day with my Bill is a gift.
Knowing we may not have much time left...
only makes it that much sweeter.
[sniffs] Ugh.
Well, I don't know why they called him Lucky Larry.
This apartment is literally the most depressing hovel I've ever seen.
And I've seen Kafka's Hell loop.
-[sniffs] Ugh. -Your friend's ring might not be here,
but there is plenty of useful information.
-You see this rug crumpled up? -Mmm.
I think this is where our killer bops Larry right in the kisser.
Larry falls backwards here,
hits his head,
right here on the table where you see these wood chips.
[Lucifer] Mm-hmm.
But then...
he shakes it off.
He gets up and he charges at our killer, you, like this.
-[grunts] -He knocks the wind out of him.
-Sorry, pal. -That's all right. I love roleplay.
Things are looking up for our pal Larry until the killer pulls out a knife.
-Aha! -Larry...
heads to the window, but the window was painted shut.
He tried. He... wrenched it open.
He got halfway out, when the Killer...
comes over, stabs him in the back...
creating that blood splatter.
[Lucifer] Oh.
[exhales] And then...
Larry escapes into the evening.
Only to expire on your doorstep.
I just wish we had some more evidence
pointing us to whoever dusted poor old Larry.
Well, actually,
I might have something.
-Huh? -[sniffs]
A very expensive cigar. Well, just the tip.
Romeo y Julieta, a favorite of Winston Churchill and...
-Our old pal, Tommy Stompanato. -...Tommy Stompanato.
Huh.
So Stompanato finds out Lucky Larry stole his girl's ring,
poses as a buyer,
gets the ring back.
Then Kills the thief to avenge the girl.
But it Stompanato did all this to impress Lily Rose--
-Why not give her the ring? -Yeah.
-[dripping] -[Jack gasps softly]
[Jack] Rise and shine, Stompanato.
[suspenseful music playing]
That certainly explains why he never gave Lily's ring back.
Looks like Mr. Stompanato's bark was worse than his bite.
[Jack] They took his heart.
What do you think they did with it?
Well, he didn't seem the type to wear it on his sleeve.
-I'll check the floor. [grunts] -Ugh.
[scoffs]
Well, it looks like we were right
about Stompanato rubbing out Lucky Larry.
Same insignia as the knife in Lucky Larry's back.
-But who rubbed out Stompanato? -[Lucifer] Hal
I think I know the answer to that.
A man after his own heart...
and Lily Rose's ring.
And it appears we're too late on both counts.
Who would have the stones to carve up Stompanato?
And what's that wack-a-doo symbol on his face?
They're hieroglyphics.
Uh...
I believe it's the Eye of Horus,
a sacred symbol in ancient Egyptian culture.
Sacred eye?
I've heard that before.
I think I know where to find our graffiti artist.
Hmm.
-Salutations. -[Lucifer] Bloody hell.
God.
Have you come seeking...
books?
Yeah.
We have... come...
seeking books.
Oh.
I thought you were here for the secret cult ceremony.
Sorry. My friend is new.
We are absolutely here for the secret cult ceremony,
if you wouldn't mind pointing us in the right direction.
Right through that door.
And if you haven't mail-ordered your robes yet,
there's a few extra hanging on the coat rack.
[both] Hmm.
Lovely.
Thank you.
[bell dings]
-[Jack scoffs] -Melvin the Magnificent at your service.
What is it with this place?
Board-certified priest, oracle, shaman, and justice of the peace.
How may I assist you?
Lift a curse? Cure a nasty rash?
I got a love spell guaranteed to reel in a dame at 50 paces.
We're looking for something much stronger than that.
Preferably Egyptian.
Possibly involving the removal of a heart.
Ah...
You seek the ceremony of Anubis.
Yes, we do. We'll take one of those, please.
Very well.
Look over there!
For just $12, $12,
our deluxe ceremony of Anubis includes this ceremonial mask,
two acolytes, and a drum made from the skin of a vestal virgin,
a gilded sacrificial dagger and one live chicken.
-It never ends well for the chicken. -[Jack exhales sharply]
Or you might prefer...
our economy package.
Uh...
Only $6.
And the chicken hawk comes pre-sacrificed
for your convenience.
[Lucifer] Not particularly accurate, historically speaking,
but quite, uh, bloody. My old friend Tutankhamun would've loved it.
[Melvin] In the modern age, we are taught to fear death.
But the ancients understood that death...
is power.
Did you feel powerful...
when you were holding Tommy Stompanato's heart
in your hands after you killed him?
Somebody killed Tommy Stompanato?
You... You can't possibly believe that I had anything to do with that.
-Oh, yeah, we absolutely do. -Yes. Tell us, Melvin the Magnificent,
what is it you desire?
-I... -[Lucifer] Yes.
...want...
Yeah?
...a 1941 Pontiac Torpedo.
Eight-cylinder engine, 103 horsepower...
Zero to 40 in under three minutes. And...
-surprisingly affordable. -Ah.
A few of these, uh, deluxe ceremonies a week,
a couple of, uh, sacred objects here and there,
and I'm cruising the open road by summer.
You killed Stompanato,
and then you stole my friend Lilith's very special ring.
So forget the open road. The only place you're going is downtown.
Hold the line there, pal.
Are you talking about the Ring of Lilith?
Because my clients, uh,
parishioners, would pay top-dollar for even a slightly passable fake.
We could split the profits.
Objects of immortality are my bestsellers.
Right. Can any of your "parishioners"
account for your whereabouts from noon to 6:00 today?
Well, sure. I was here. I did, uh, four tarot card readings,
uh, an exorcism, mmm,
-and, uh, a bar mitzvah. -Oh.
Tony Stompanato's heart was ripped out in an identical manner
to your little chicken scam. So if it wasn't you that killed him,
it had to be one of your customers.
Did you tell any of them about the Ring of Lilith?
Well, sure. I've been selling maps to Lilith's tomb for years,
but, uh, I couldn't tell you who bought 'em on account of all the robes.
[sighing] Well, that was a clucking waste of time.
I'm afraid we've hit a dead end.
Found a few heart puns, had a few laughs, but... [chuckling]
It seems you'll have to live without your ring.
So, why don't I repay my debt some other way? Hmm?
A castle, a... [inhales deeply] private island,
a mountain of gold? [chuckles]
The world is your oyster and I your concierge.
Thousands of years, Lucifer,
and that ring has always been with me.
It reminds me of who I am, why I've done the things I've done.
You mean, why you sent your children to Hell?
I gave you an army.
An army I never asked for.
And... one I didn't know I needed at the time.
[sighs] But, without them,
I would have spent eternity alone, and...
for that, I shall be forever in your debt.
Which is why I'm truly sorry I couldn't get your ring back.
So am I.
[sighing] So, how exactly did everyone get the idea
it's the ring that makes you immortal, anyway? Hmm?
[inhales] Ah...
So, I hitch a ride through the Americas with this explorer, Hernan Cortes.
Obsessed with gold, rains bloodshed
and terror wherever he goes, a real wet blanket.
-[chuckling] -I split the second we hit land
and hook up with this strapping Aztec warrior, Montezuma.
[chuckles] We have a few drinks, he asks if I'm a virgin.
I say yes because that always got the folks in Spain going.
-[chuckling] -Mm-hmm.
Next thing I know, some priest fellas are throwing me in a volcano.
I survive, and somebody writes it on his stone tablet,
you know how these things start.
[laughing] I do. Ah, mortals.
Wouldn't mind seeing the look on that thief's face
when they realize that that ring doesn't do a damn thing.
Hold on.
The ring doesn't work,
which means the thief will be looking for a way to make it work.
Lilith, I believe I found a way to get your ring back.
All we need is a high priest, a jeweler, and a distraction.
Thanks to a certain high priest-cum-magic
school freshman I know,
the word is out that your ring only works
when it's attached to this rather gaudy bangle.
So, whoever stole the ring will come back
for this bracelet.
The thief waits till you're on stage and sneaks into your dressing room,
just as before.
Except this time, our pal Jack will be watching.
Jack catches thief, thief gives up ring, and before you know it,
that little piece of Eden will be back on your finger where it belongs.
-Mm-hmm. -[both chuckling]
[audience clapping]
Hey.
[breathes deeply]
I appreciate you doing this.
Well, your friend Lucifer said you needed me.
But when this is over, I'm taking the bus to Des Moines.
I'm gonna move back in with my mother.
Okay, so, uh, when Lily gives the cue, you take the bracelet. Okay?
And then I parade it around the club, take it back to the dressing room,
put it in the safe.
[Jack] Wait.
Just, uh...
be careful, okay?
I'm gonna need more than that, Jack.
All this time you've spent on Earth,
have you ever connected with a human?
Oh, I've connected with thousands of humans.
You know, once, Caligula and I made a human train out of 37 hum--
I'm not talking about sex, Lucifer.
I'm talking about an emotional connection.
Oh, absolutely not. [chuckles]
It would take a literal miracle for me to want something like that,
and I'm fairly certain my father is not handing those out anymore. Why?
Just wondering.
[audience laughing]
[Abe] Take my wife. Please!
[people laughing, clapping]
Abe Gantz, the funniest man in Manhattan!
[audience hooting]
By special request,
I'm going to sing a song that's been a favorite of mine for a while.
Ah!
Truth is, I'm...
-[Shirley] Just $1. -Not sure I ever really
understood what it meant until just now.
[chuckles] Oh!
-Sorry about that, folks. -[people laughing]
Had this old thing for forever, and it always gets in the way.
How about a little costume change before we get started.
Be a doll and put this in my safe, will you?
[playing melodic tune]
[singing] There's a saying old says That love is blind
Still we're often told Seek and ye shall find
So I'm going to seek a certain lad
I had in mind
Lookin' everywhere Haven't found him yet
He's the big affair I cannot forget
Only lad I ever think of with regret
I'd like to add his initials
To my monogram
Tell me where is the shepherd
For this lost lamb
There's a somebody I'm longing to see
I hope that he turns out to be
[both] Someone who'll watch over me
I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could always be good
To one who'll watch over me
[audience clapping]
[Lilith] Lucifer Morningstar!
[sighs]
[Shirley] Jack!
Thank God, you're okay. There's a man in Lily's dressing room.
I made sure he saw me put the bracelet in the safe, just like you said.
Go, before he gets away!
You're an angel, Shirl.
-Go! -Okay.
[audience clapping]
[keys jangling]
Hands in the air.
Back up. Back up slowly.
Turn around.
You killed Tommy Stompanato?
And I took the ring...
and I performed the ceremony of Anubis to unlock its ancient power.
And now, I am immortal!
Well, the whackadoo that killed Tommy Stompanato.
Willy, I didn't think you had it in you.
Larry should've never sold Stompanato that ring.
Neither of them even knew what they had.
[gasping]
I knew all about the ring.
I'm the one who hired Lucky Larry to steal it.
Now put the gun down and hand it over.
Gertie, how could you?
Because it was my plan.
I tracked down the ring.
I told Lucky Larry how and when to steal it.
I even told him he could have everything in the safe
if he just gave me the ring...
and what did he do?
Sold it to some lovesick wise guy who wound up killin' him!
[Trixie] Time out!
So, both Gertie and Willy learned about the ring from Melvin the Magnificent?
Correct. Mmm.
Gertie hired Lucky Larry to steal the ring, but instead,
he betrayed her and sold it to Stompanato
for a higher price.
But then Stompanato killed Larry out of revenge
for stealing his girl's ring in the first place?
Indeed. But, unfortunately for Stompanato,
Willy the Sausage Prince also wanted the ring,
and ripped the mobster's heart out in an all-too-real version
of Melvin the Magnificent's fake cult ceremony in order to make it work.
Huh?
-Forget it, Trix. It's Chinatown. -It's what?
Never mind.
Would you like to hear the rest of the story or not?
Now, I don't wanna hurt anyone, but I need to save Bill.
Jewelry isn't going to save your husband, Gertie.
You're lying! You're lying.
I saw you that night in the alley.
You got caught in the crossfire
between the Stompanato boys and the Brooklyn Bridge Gang.
You got shot half a dozen times and walked away.
I see. But that had nothing to do with a magic ring.
-[Willy scoffing] -There's no such thing.
That can't be true.
Let's just settle this ring-amarole once and for all, shall we?
-What? -[gun fires]
[screams shrilly]
[whimpering] You shot me.
-Yes, I did. -I'm bleeding out.
-[thuds]
Well, that's a lot of bellyaching for a guy who loves war.
[whimpering]
[Willy grunting]
It's not real.
I can't save him.
Of course you can't.
So why risk everything... trying?
Gertie, you could've died.
[Jack] Let me help you.
We all die, Lily.
And that's okay.
The truth is, I'd rather die today trying to save the man I love...
than live forever without him.
Oh, Gertie.
[Willy] I am too rich to go to jail!
No! You call my father! Call my father!
[sobbing] Call my father!
[sighs]
There's two ways this can go.
Either the Sausage Prince gets what's coming to him
and we pin Stompanato for the rest,
or we get the lady bartender involved. Your call if you wanna press charges.
[sighs sadly]
[siren wailing in distance]
Let her enjoy whatever time Bill has left.
-[Jack whistles] -[officers talking indistinctly]
Well, you're an odd duck, but, uh, it's been...
It's been real interesting.
Hmm.
You take care of yourself, kid.
You too, old man. [chuckles]
Hey, Shirl, um, so what time's your bus?
Midnight.
Oh, yeah. So, if you hurry,
uh, you can still make it.
Yeah.
Shirl!
Um...
I uh...
I was thinking, if, um...
If it's all right with you, I...
Maybe I could come with you.
It's a long ride to Des Moines, Jack.
Good.
-Give us a chance to talk. -[strangled sob]
Come here.
[sighs] So, ring returned, favor repaid.
See you in a few hundred years?
No.
Well, you drive a hard bargain,
but, fine, I'll throw in a castle as well.
[inhales deeply] I have a lovely 22-bedroom in Austria,
hardly got bombed at all.
I don't want a castle.
Well, now, you're just being difficult.
Cortes...
Montezuma,
Willy the Sausage Prince...
they all think they want to live forever...
but they already have something so much more precious.
Gertie was right.
It's knowing there's an end...
That's what makes the rest of it count.
That's what connects them to one another.
What makes them brave even when they have no reason to be.
I think I've been immortal long enough.
[blows]
I want you to have it.
[chuckles in disbelief]
Once you do this, there's no going back.
Are you sure?
Just one thing.
Oh, and it never ends with you, does it? [chuckles]
Although, I suppose it will now.
Would you like me to bring your children up to say goodbye?
And undo everything they've learned in Hell? Never.
My children are perfect.
They can't be banished because they have no home.
Can't be abandoned because they have no family.
They'll never be cast out of the proverbial garden.
You can never tell them what I've done today, Lucifer.
Not if they're going to be unbreakable.
Well, you have my word.
Well... I never thought I'd say this, but, enjoy the rest of your life.
Right back at ya.
[chuckles]
So hold me and smile, dear
Put your lips to mine
Forget the past
For this is ours
That ring has Lilith's immortality inside it?
Yes, I suppose it does.
[chuckling]
Though, as far as I'm concerned, the only thing special about it is...
[inhales deeply]
It reminds me of an old friend.
So, what happened to Jack and Shirley? Did they live happily ever after?
Well, they moved to Des Moines, probably not.
[chuckles]
My mom says dealing with your problems is the only way to get past them.
I bet Jack and Shirley talked the whole bus ride and fixed everything.
Yes. Yes, perhaps they did.
[inhales deeply] Right. Story time's over.
Thanks, Lucifer. This was fun.
Oh, don't exaggerate.
You got the story?
[chuckles]
I taught you well, kid.
Once upon a time, the Devil went to New York City.
The year was 1946...
[exhales]
Are you Lily Rose?
Who wants to know?
It's me, Mazikeen.
Lucifer told you that I was here, didn't he?
You'd think the Devil would be better at keeping his trap shut.
[sputters] No, no. I found you all on my own.
Have you been here all this time?
I gave something a shot. It didn't work out.
That's it? That's all you have to say to me?
What do you want from me?
I wanted to come and see you.
I...
I wanted to know why you abandoned us.
Why you abandoned me.
I did it to make you strong. And it worked.
[chuckling] Just look at you.
I can see you don't need anyone.
Yeah.
Look at me.
[theme music playing]