Yo, boss! Johnny's gotta make water.
No chance, man. Shut up.
Oh, he's peeing. Johnny's peeing all over the seat!
Damn it, Johnny.
-Johnny, what's your problem, man? -[grunting]
[men shouting]
[people chattering]
[upbeat music playing]
[piano music playing]
[Michael] You know, I always wondered, why a piano?
You're supposed to be the edgy one. Wouldn't guitar be more...
Whoa. Hey, hey, hey! Lucifer. Lucifer. Lucifer.
I am not here to fight.
Oh, well, I most certainly am.
Well, then, what would happen to all these
poor, fragile humans, dear brother?
It's all right, everyone.
Just a little brotherly squabble.
[laughs]
It's fine, it's fine. Music up!
[Michael] Besides... I mean, really, what's the point?
I've already won.
I've assembled the Flaming Sword. And thanks to it,
and my charms, of course,
I have got the majority of angels on my side.
And yet, here you are.
-Why? -To avoid bloodshed, brother.
To keep our siblings safe. To make peace.
I am here... with an offer.
[scoffs] There is nothing that you could offer me.
Hmm... [chuckling]
What about a throne?
[laughs]
Are you offering me my old job?
I take Heaven, you take Hell.
It's kind of poetic, if you think about it.
And, uh, I will let you rule down there however you see fit.
Oh, gee, thanks, bro.
But been there, done that, tried the veal.
Ah, ah, ah.
But I haven't told you the best part.
Chloe will be down there with you.
I mean, talk about happily ever after.
What are you talking about? That's impossible.
Even if you become God, you wouldn't have the power
to force her soul down there.
Only someone's guilt can take them to Hell.
Exactly.
Think about it.
The father of her child is dead
because of a case he was working for her.
Did you do all of this?
Did you have them take Daniel?
No, no, no. That part was just a very happy accident.
But when they told me they had him...
[laughs] Brother, I realized I had a golden opportunity.
So, you...
You told them to kill Dan?
You're welcome.
[Lucifer grunts]
[laughs] Easy with the temper, brother.
Dan is in Hell because of you?
Well, technically, it's because of his own guilt,
which he really should have gotten over by now.
Forget about the past, brother.
Focus on the future.
Your future...
With Chloe.
[scoffs]
You need time to think about it. I get it.
But, just so you know,
the vote is tomorrow.
And I'm holding it here on Earth, so you can attend,
you know, because of the whole,
"You're banished from Heaven, and would be instantly incinerated
if you returned" thing.
Though... that would be fun to see.
Brother.
I am offering you the chance at a happy ending.
I hope you take it.
[theme music playing]
Linda.
[Amenadiel chuckles]
See?
This is what caring about people gets you.
Sitting around like idiots, getting all emotional over inanimate junk.
So, can we please just...
stop with the crybaby bullshit, and get this done.
[gasps]
[growls]
[Linda] Maze.
Maze, honey, it's gonna be okay.
What is that?
It's a t-shirt that Dan...
had to steal from Chloe, after
I knocked him out, and dumped him naked at her house.
I still... [sobs]
I still don't know how he fit his stupid ass in this thing.
[sobbing]
I miss him.
[Linda] Maze.
[sighs] Okay.
[sobbing]
It's okay.
Okay.
It's true.
It's true, sometimes when you
care about people
you have to go through pain, and loss.
But that's the price of joy.
[Amenadiel] She's right, Mazikeen.
In order for none of us to be sad,
we would've had to have never met Dan.
You wouldn't want that.
None of us would.
Like...
Like, when...
When Dan and I...
Pulverized that gang together?
It was beautiful.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Exactly, and...
Remembering, um...
Sweet times like those,
are what helps heal the hurt.
[Linda] Because, trust me,
never loving anyone
is far worse than loss.
[elevator dings]
[Lucifer] Thank you for coming, Detective.
-Yeah. -Um, how's Trixie?
Uh, she's... You know.
She's with my mom and Dan's parents.
She's a strong little girl,
she's just having to be stronger than she ever should right now.
Listen, I know that you asked me to come here, but...
I just want to get something off my chest first. Um...
You know the argument
the other night. It...
It just-- We were both stressed, and, um,
it was emotional, and--
There's no need, Detective. You were right.
You were able to say the thing I couldn't admit to myself.
I wanted to be God for the wrong reasons.
But...
Now I know why I need to be God.
For Dan's sake.
What do you mean?
Uh, please. Sit down, please.
[Lucifer clears throat]
[Chloe clears throat]
So...
Dan's...
Dan's death...
[Lucifer sighs]
Everything that's happened is all Michael's fault.
He's been assembling the Flaming Sword to win the war.
So that's why they killed Dan?
To keep us from finding that out?
No.
Michael killed Dan
so that you would feel guilty.
So that when you die,
you'll go down to Hell.
A twisted bribe to get me to go back, like a good little devil.
I don't even know...
I don't know what to do with that!
You must refuse to give in.
It's all a manipulation.
Detective, you mustn't feel guilty!
Right, yeah. Okay.
I'll just snap my fingers and not feel guilty.
-I'm serious, Detective. -I'm serious, too.
That is not how emotions work, Lucifer.
Prove me wrong. Go ahead. Go on. Just...
Feel worthy!
Or you know what? No, this is better. This is better.
Make yourself vulnerable.
[Chloe scoffs]
It's easier said than done, isn't it?
This isn't the same.
We can't let Michael win, and you can't end up like Dan.
What are you talking about, "end up like Dan"? Dan's in Heaven.
Lucifer.
Where is Dan right now?
Where is he?
Don't make me say it, please.
Where is he?
[whooshes]
Who's there?
Michael?
Remiel!
Lucifer.
Remi!
She's dead.
Oh, my God.
Michael must have found out she was our spy,
and killed her with the Flaming Sword.
Are... Are there actual flames on the sword?
Detective!
This is hardly the time to start
questioning the rules of celestials, but...
Yes, the sword has flames on it. It makes sense. Don't overthink it.
No, I'm only asking because, look,
there's no burn marks around the wound,
so whatever Michael killed her with, it couldn't have been flaming.
So, he must have just used Azrael's Blade.
When I saw Michael, he said he had the sword.
If he did, the little show off would've used it,
which means he's bluffing.
He hasn't found the piece yet.
We don't know where it is.
Michael has an army of angels to search for him.
Well, maybe Remiel found out where the piece was.
You think she was coming to tell us that?
I don't know.
I don't know. This...
This could be a clue.
Look...
I know it's asking a lot, but I need the detective one last time.
I need your help.
Of course.
Maybe I can't control my guilt,
but I sure as hell can channel my anger.
-Let's take that bastard down. -[sighs]
Hey, big guy.
You took one of the good ones.
And I'm...
I'm glad he's with you and everything, but...
I just miss him.
I miss him a lot.
And I know you got a lot on your plate.
And...
I know, I know, darkness makes the light shine brighter
and everything, but...
It's extra dark right now.
I'm having a really hard time seeing.
It almost feels like...
you're not even up there anymore.
But...
I know that's totally impossible.
So...
I would really appreciate it...
if you could just show me the way.
Or...
Or, at least, just, you know, nudge me in the right direction.
Or just...
Okay, what I'm trying to say is just...
Just give me some sort of sign. Just...
let me know that I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Where I need to be.
-[Chloe] Hey. -Yeah.
Thank God you're here.
We're gonna need your help.
We'll be right back.
-Okay. Okay. -Okay?
Thanks.
[Ella] Hmm.
Maybe I should run another sample through mass spec.
[Chloe] Why?
Because this doesn't make any sense.
Report says that it's yeast.
Oh, Remiel did love a hot tub.
Yeast. That is weird.
Uh, give me a second.
Okay.
I know you said to just examine what's on the feather, but...
I can't help but do the math, and...
I think I know what this is about, Lucifer.
You... You do?
Come on.
Ginormous mystery feather?
On the down-low investigation?
Lucifer, you have to know that you can trust me by now.
So tell me the truth.
You hit an emu with your car, didn't you?
[Chloe] Hey, I think I got it.
I can't believe it, they're six feet tall!
And, I thought, indigenous to Australia. He hit an--
Oh, I'll give you guys a second alone.
Yes, thank you, Ms. Lopez.
Okay, remember TJ Ross?
The fence who had Amenadiel's necklace?
What, the twerp who launched me across the room like an Angry Bird?
Yes, how can I forget?
So, when I was working the dead med tech case,
I looked into all the locations he operated out of,
and one of them was an abandoned beer factory.
A yeasty venue indeed.
What if Remiel was trying to tell us before Michael got there,
and he got to her first?
Well, maybe we can still get to TJ before Michael does.
It's been hours.
We have to go see, we have to try.
What if some of your siblings are already there waiting for us?
[sighs]
Ms. Lopez.
-Yeah? -[Lucifer chuckles]
Ms. Lopez, might I trouble you for one last favor?
One hundred percent. What do you need?
["Sabotage" playing]
[Maze clears throat]
Hi.
Um, I'm just waiting for somebody.
-[clears throat] -Yeah, I know. You're waiting for me.
I'm Steve.
Okay.
That explains why he wanted to meet at Lux.
And why I liked his wicked sense of humor.
So you're dating already? Cool.
Seriously, you broke up with me, Maze.
Besides you're Steve, so...
Yeah, but you didn't know that.
-I... -Okay, whatever.
The point is, um...
I've been thinking, and I've decided.
I don't care if you die.
That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.
[laughs]
Wait, wait, I'm just double checking here.
That means you want to be with me, right?
Till the years are showing on your face
-and my strongest days are gone. Yes. -[laughs]
[both grunting]
[grunting]
Oh, well, well, TJ, you're quite the feisty human, aren't you?
Finally. Help us, brother. This little cockroach won't let go.
TJ. If you know what's good for you, you will let go of the necklace.
Over my dead body.
[grunts]
You know, the human makes a good point.
Father isn't here anymore, which means the rules
about not killing humans vanished with him.
If you wipe this one worthless soul out of existence...
I'll have everything I want.
[Michael sighs]
Michael?
[sighs] Sorry, but I can't do that.
As good at cosplay as Ms. Lopez is
I never was as adept at subterfuge as my twin.
Lucifer.
Let's do this, shall we?
[grunts]
[yells]
[Michael] Well... [grunts] That was gross.
But I guess you need a strong stomach if you're gonna be God. [chuckles]
Is this the God you want?
A God who slaughters the innocent for his own selfish gain?
Humans are the selfish ones.
They're animals.
They don't matter.
What about Remiel? What about our sister?
Does it matter to you that Michael murdered her?
That can't be true.
Michael?
I did what I had to.
Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good.
Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and all that.
-[gunshot] -[screams]
Well, hello, Chloe.
You do know bullets can't hurt me, right?
It wasn't supposed to hurt you.
[whooshes]
It was supposed to distract you.
[Linda] Okay. All right. Watch this.
Ready?
Okay.
[babbles]
[Linda] Did you see that?
Did you see that?
-I mean... -He falls all the time, Amenadiel.
Twice as much as the other kids in the baby group.
Okay. Okay. So, this occupational therapist/mom/influencer
that I follow on Instagram
who sponsors a blog says that we should probably...
Maybe what we should do, Linda,
is just let Charlie figure it out for himself, yeah?
You mean, we should just let him hurt himself?
I don't think I can do that.
How could... How could you do that?
We're not signing him up for cage fighting, Linda.
Falling is how humans learn. It's how I learned.
Look, I... I lost my wings, my powers.
I fell again and again, you know,
and getting back up,
now, that was the most empowering experience of my life.
Yeah.
I'll make a chart.
I'm gonna log every time you fall, Charlie,
and see if there's a pattern.
Then I can slide into the momfluencer's DMs
and see if she has any ideas.
Yeah.
[phone vibrates]
Hello.
What? [breath shaking]
No.
Amenadiel, what happened?
[sighs]
[sirens wailing]
I can't believe Remi is gone.
She...
She died like she would have wanted. She died a warrior.
Doesn't matter how she died.
She's still dead.
Dad and his mysterious ways.
If he'd just chosen a successor, we wouldn't be here.
Remiel would still be alive.
Dan wouldn't be in Hell.
Father didn't give us the answers Luci,
because he wanted us to find our own way.
Oh, even if it means dying?
Yes.
Yes, Luci.
You have to risk falling if you wanna fly.
Dad had faith in us.
That's why he gave us choice.
Well, he shouldn't have.
I had the choice to save everything and everyone I care about, but I didn't.
I chose wrong.
Michael is going to be God
because I didn't have the balls to kill a two-bit fence
who wound up dying anyway.
And, now, who knows how many other people
are gonna die because of my...
cowardice.
It's not cowardly to save a life.
It's not cowardly to fight for a single soul.
We owe it to Remiel, we owe it to Dan.
We are the ones still standing,
we are the ones that have to fight.
Metaphorically for you, of course, because our siblings are invulnerable,
you'll be powerless against them.
[Maze] She won't be powerless.
Here. You can have Stabby.
Thank you, Maze.
I'm just not sure I know how to use this.
It's okay. I figured a way around that.
[sputters] You're not fighting.
Dan died because of me, Lucifer.
-I am fighting. -You are not fighting!
I'm fighting.
Fine.
Fine. Well, even if we had a dozen demon blades,
it's still the four of us against a literal army of angels.
I think I might have an idea how we can get our own army.
You don't mean...
For the best chance we've got.
[Amenadiel] What do you think, Maze?
Hey, I'm all in.
Let's kill a bunch of angels.
[Amenadiel] No, Mazikeen.
Now, if we're gonna do this, there will be no killing.
They're our family.
You wanna tie another hand behind our backs?
Fight a war like a bunch of wussies?
It's not cowardly
to save a single life.
Fine. Whatever.
Least we'll all die together.
Well, off that optimism...
Dad gave us the power of choice.
What say we make one last spectacularly bad one?
["New Blood" playing]
[sirens approaching]
[Chloe] Ha, so, this is where he wants to hold the vote?
It's quaint.
For what it's worth,
there's no one else I'd rather do this with.
[whooshes]
Where's Maze? And our reinforcements?
Well, it's taking a little bit longer than expected.
[sighs]
Right. Well, we'll just have to stall.
This really is a family affair, isn't it?
You actually showed up. Look at that.
You ready to bend the knee, brother?
Yes, Michael. We... [sighs]
Listen, we accept you as our new God.
[Michael] Do you?
[scoffs]
I want to hear from him, the one who doesn't lie.
Of course, brother.
You are God.
[sighs]
Awful. I mean, what on Earth are you wearing?
-Is winter coming or something? -Very funny, Lucifer.
Very, very funny. [chuckles]
Why do you have to fight the inevitable?
It's the only way I know how to fight.
I demand a vote.
[laughs] Seriously?
All right. Fine. Fine.
Who here is not voting for me?
I said, is anyone here not voting for me?
Well, that's it? That's your speech, is it?
I think I've said all I need to.
Typical Michael. All fear and no substance.
Brothers and sisters,
I know what you all desire.
And I know it's not me as God.
But I also know you don't want him either.
So you have a difficult decision to make.
Everyone knows what Michael's all about. Fear.
He's using it now by threatening you with the Flaming Sword.
But me?
I'm gonna try and convince you with the truth.
I'm going to tell you the real reason
I want to be God.
-I... -[Zadkiel] I know why Lucifer
wants the throne.
He told me.
And it's for love, of all things. [chuckles]
[sighs]
[all laughing]
I never thought I'd hear it.
"Love."
The best reason one could have.
Lucifer has my support.
He is worthy.
Who's with me?
Thank you.
Oh. I really thought that was going to be a whole thing.
"A" for effort though, Zadkiel.
Well, looks like we have the numbers.
Consider the vote complete.
And me God!
God!
Oh, come on.
I thought there'd be a little something...
A flash of lightning, maybe?
Unless... I thought Dad said we were choosing?
Maybe it has to be unanimous?
Right.
Well, if it has to be unanimous,
there's only one way to make that happen.
Get rid of all the opposing votes.
Mom never liked you.
Thank you.
Where is Maze?
Any minute now, Luci, I'm sure of it.
[woman] What are we gonna do?
Can you hear that?
[humming]
You can't touch this. [humming]
Can't touch what?
[singing] Can't touch this
[all humming]
Can't touch this
[all humming]
My, my, my, my music hits me so hard
Gets me saying Oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me With a mind to rhyme and two fly feet
Feels good when you know You're down, a super-fly homeboy
From the Oaktown, and I'm known
As such and this is a beat that you can't touch
[all humming]
It's got to be Dad, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, she's right! God must be here, making us sing.
Dad has returned!
Oh! Oh!
All right. All right. Stop.
[all] Hammer time!
Oh, oh
No, no! I mean stop this, this nonsense!
You're obviously just stalling!
[Maze] Lucifer!
Finally.
[speaking foreign language] ...Brothers and sisters.
That is so sexy.
-Not now. -Right. Of course.
Definitely later.
[Michael] Very cute. Little demon army.
But you still don't stand a chance.
You might wanna ask your girlfriend to leave or she's gonna get hurt.
I was just gonna say the same thing to you.
[laughs] Chloe, how many times do we have to go through this?
Your bullets can't hurt me.
[groaning]
Turns out melting down one demon blade makes a lot of bullets.
[Lucifer] So you see, dear brother,
we are more evenly matched than you anticipated.
Now, I know you want to avoid bloodshed amongst our siblings.
As do I.
So...
why don't we just, you know, shed each other's?
Mano y mano?
Or ala y ala.
-Which means wing to wing, in Latin... -Got it. Yes. Thank you.
And, precisely. I win, Godhood is mine.
You win, you have my full support,
and I'll crawl back to Hell like a good little devil.
When I win, you won't be crawling anywhere.
This is to the death.
So be it.
[all exclaiming]
I have the Flaming Sword. You don't stand a...
[both grunting]
-Lucifer is losing. -Zadkiel, he has to do this on his own.
Brother, can I borrow your staff for a moment?
Lucifer!
[chuckling] Oh, my brother has a stick! Whatever shall I do? [grunts]
That staff is all that remains of the Tree of Life!
I know. And I can't think of a better use for it.
For a lost cause?
No. We have Michael right where we want him.
[both grunting]
[yelling]
[wings flapping]
Good bye, brother.
[Michael grunting]
Oh, you're never gonna take this sword from me, brother.
Dear brother. That was never part of the plan.
Plan?
Now.
No! No!
Get the Blade, Lucifer!
[chuckles]
[wings flapping]
Azrael? With the Angel of Death at our side, I can't lose.
I'm sorry, Lu.
No.
I got it! [pants]
Chloe!
[groans]
Chloe!
[Amenadiel] Maze, hold.
Okay. Hold the plan.
-The plan has gone to shit. -[Lucifer] No!
-No! No, no, no! No... -[gasping]
No, no, no...
This is all my fault. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry.
It's not your fault.
[sobbing] Sorry, I'm sorry.
Lucifer, we make our own choices.
I chose to be here.
And Dan...
what happened to Dan is...
It's not my fault.
And this is not your fault.
It's not your fault.
I love you.
No. No. No. [sobbing]
No!
I told you she should leave.
Good news is, sounds like she made peace with her guilt.
I'll bet she made it to Heaven.
I guess that means you'll never see her again.
And you really should've taken my offer.
[mumbles] This isn't right.
This isn't right. It's not her time.
What, what are you babbling about?
I'm gonna get her back.
[chuckles] Lucifer, come on.
Your banishment.
You'll die if you try to go to Heaven.
So be it.
Maze, hold.
[yells in foreign language]
Let's go.
Mm.
Just as good as I remember it.
Egg sandwiches.
A Decker family tradition.
This is so good.
Dad, this is so nice.
Yeah, monkey.
It sure...
[zooming noise]
.Is.
Is that normal?
Not as far as I know. I'm sure it's fine.
It's Heaven.
[groaning, breathing heavily]
[Lee] Man, you don't look so good.
Mr. Saidoutbitch?
That's impossible.
Says the dude that just fell out of the sky.
Why am I not burning to a crisp?
I should be ashes by now.
And, I'll be damned,
the ring.
Lilith's immortality is protecting me.
And not for long, it seems.
Okay. I don't know what the fork any of that means
but you look like you could use a hand.
[grunting]
Last time I saw you,
you were... You were in Hell.
Did I fly in the wrong bloody direction?
Nope. You're in the right place.
This is Heaven, or, at least, one of its many rooms.
I'm still trying to get the lay of the land.
Now, I hear they have a room made entirely out of cotton candy.
No, no, no. This is impossible.
No soul has ever made it up here from there.
I don't know about that.
But I know I took your advice.
I faced my family...
my guilt.
You went through the door.
Yep. Finally.
And, boom, Heaven.
[laughs] Heaven.
Heaven.
[pants] The detective.
Hey, don't worry.
She's here. Come on.
What are you doing?
Hey, you helped me.
Let me help you.
Here we go.
Wait. Wait. Come on, Dad.
Come on. [chuckles] Tell me.
I'm serious.
Your mother's face was completely purple.
She forgot she had the Althea makeup on.
And no one at the PTA was brave enough to tell her the entire--
[Lucifer] Detective? Detective.
Thank... thank you.
Lucifer?
Lucifer. What...
Lucifer.
What are you doing here?
[pants] I've come to get you.
It's not your time.
You need to come back.
Oh, that's right.
The, the, the war ...
Yes.
And I left Trixie and my friends.
Yeah.
I left you.
Yes.
But... But my dad's here and I can't--
I can't lose him again.
It's okay.
I'm not going anywhere.
But it sounds like some people could use your help, Detective Decker.
Thanks, Dad.
Okay.
Wait.
How do we get back?
[gasps] I'm not sure we can.
I'm afraid there's not enough power left for the both of us.
What? No, I'm not going without you.
What are you talking about?
You have to.
The world still needs you, Chloe Decker.
No, you don't have to do that.
I know...
I know I don't have to.
I choose to.
What?
I choose you, Chloe.
Because...
[groaning]
I choose you because...
I love you.
[Chloe] Lucifer?
Lucifer?
[gasps]
[screaming]
[grunting]
Whew!
[grunts]
No way. He did it?
He actually brought you back...
just so I could kill you again.
[chuckles]
Goodbye, Detective.
[yells]
You took the man I love from me.
Do it. Do it.
[Lucifer] Detective.
This isn't you, Chloe.
Bend the knee, brother.
To the death, right?
[screams]
No more Killing.
In my time here on Earth, I've learned everyone deserves a second chance.
Even me.
Even you, Michael.
Lucifer, how?
I don't know. I...
["And so it Begins" playing]
Oh, my me.
[theme music playing]